Where is the Return Address!? ((Osomatsu-san x Reader))(((Discontinued)))

What a Day/I Didn't Order Anything

Today has been a wonderful day. Or it would have been if Lady Luck hadn't decided to bend you over and screw you sideways.

First, you woke up late because you, like the shit for brains  you know you are, set your alarm for 6:30PM instead of 6:30AM and were nearly two and a half hours late for your first day as an intern at [big business. So much for a first impression.  Then while on coffee run as the newbie, the clumsy barista decides to spill half of your orders onto your white button-up . Not only was a perfectly good shirt ruined but you also basically got first degree burns on your chest. That shit was like liquid metal. They ended up giving you new coffee and a side of pastries for free. Great because with the rush of this morning you forgot to grab the lunch you packed the night before, let alone eat breakfast. Then with coffee in hand you hauled ass back to the building, to proceed to make copies for those who needed them around the work place. You were on your feet, running around, with an untreated burn, for hours. Then finally, by the work of high deities, you were able to go home. 

Or so you thought. As an intern you are still working in the pursuit of [dream job] so you attend classes that fit the need of the occupation at the nearest university. Luckily for you you had evening classes. So after you are done for the day at [big business], you rush home to change and dress the burn before taking the bus to the school campus. Unfortunately it was time for the evening rush so not only was there was some traffic, it was cramped with you being mushed between a large sweaty fellow and boojey looking teen that smelt of cigarettes.  You had finally got the break you needed when you arrived at the campus and proceeded with your studies thankfully uneventful. All you had to do was to do a brief quiz on stuff that you already knew and take some notes.  Sadly, the classes seemed to drag on, and the events of the day have been taking its toll on you. You, you idiot fell asleep during the lecture in your last period and were rudely awoken by an unamused Japanese kanji professor. Apparently you slept through the rest of the class. And missed the the bus home.

Thus you had to walk home. Suddenly, not even a quarter of the way home it starts pouring. Rain wasn't even in today's weather forecast, what the fuck?!  So now your soaked. Fan-fucking-tastic. Knowing your luck today your note are probably ruined now.  With your feet making awkward squelching sounds, you sluggishly walk the rest of the grueling way home. All you wanted to do now was go home, rinse off, eat, and watch some anime. That thought sounded so much like heaven, so like the elderly, rich women, you fast walk the rest of the way home. It seemed like that wasn't the best idea because soon after you fell. Doesn't sound too bad does it? Ha, don't make me laugh. You ended up landing on your back, thus landing on your phone. You hurriedly get and pull it out of the small pouch in your backpack and see that there is a big crack across its once sleek screen. You sigh deeply, you were so damn happy that you invested in a glass screen protectors. You can suck that, bad karma. You would just have to throw this one away and get a new one.But now your heavy, baggy jeans are all the more wet. You arrive home in the next hour and a half.

As you close in on your front door, you notice a medium sized package placed neatly on your porch. The thing is that you don't remember ordering any thing online lately. You shrug and pick up the box. Damn, what even is in this box weighs a  ton! You carry it inside and set it on the coffee table. First thing first, you hop in the shower. It was heaven. It felt like the hot water was washing away all of the bad things that occurred today. You let your mind drift and think of all the shit that you had to go through today.  Today has been the shittiest day that you had in a while. It only comes second to the incident that happened during Junior year, but we don't talk about that. Just think of it makes you cringe. You finish your somewhat peaceful shower and get dressed in the coziest pajamas you have. With a towel hanging off of your shoulders to catch the water dripping from your hair, you make your way to the kitchen to heat up some soup. 

With piping hot soup in hand, you situate yourself into the comfy couch in the living room and connect your laptop to the t.v and bring up KissAnime to see if any of the animes that you watch had updated. One had and you gladly watched it.  You look through the animes you bookmarked and see one that you've finish a while back. Osomatsu-san. You found it through [friend name] and thoroughly enjoyed it. Sadly it only seemed to be a gag anime and would probably not get a second season.... until you decided to look on some forums. You soon found out that it would the second season, that may or may not exist, would be released during the fall of 2016. This could be a rumor for all you know. Never trust everything you see on the internet.

Half way through the episode your attention drifts back to the box that you carried in earlier. You set the empty bowl down and grab your keys and pull the box closer to the couch. As you look at the box you notice that the box is addressed to you. You use your key to cut the tape that seal the box closed.  As you move to lift the flaps, the box shakes violently. A little too violently of you ask me. Along with the trembling, there are also small grunts, whines and yelp. You slowly scoot away from the package. You were not going to be mauled by the angry thing that  was contained  in that box. 

Que the box toppling off of the coffee table and various screeches. You bolt up and hide behind the couch.  There is tiny murmurs of a indistinguishable argument. You decide to peer around from your hiding place and see what in the hell is going on. What you see shocks you to the core.

You cannot believe your eyes. In front of you are the beings that have six same face. the only thing is that they're fucking tiny. They all appear to only be the size of your hand. They also aren't aware of the situation they are  in because they're  fucking brawling.  Not that this is anything new for them, but for you, this is blowing your mind. How the hell did this happen?!

Focusing in on the fight, you can obviously see that Osomatsu is getting the tar beat out of him by Choromatsu and Todomatsu while Karamatsu is trying to stop them from killing him. Jyushimatsu thinks that they're playing a game and Ichimatsu just watches all hell break loose, just sitting there, spectating.

And then Jyushimatsu fucking picks up your coffee table. You have to stop this right now if you wanna save your furniture. Your poor, cheap furniture.

" Hey, hey, HEY! STOP THAT!" You hop back over your couch and take the coffee table from the small, yellow bean. They instantly stop. They stare at you. 3. 2. 1.

"NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU SHITTY ELDEST BROTHER!"  

"EEEEEH! GIANT !!!"

"Hello my-- Karamatsu lover~."

"Shut up Shittymatsu..."

"OW! That hurts Fappymatsu!" 

"This is all your fault Osomatsu-nii san."

Oh boy...