Fan Account ⇒ Cowan

01. prologue

meltaxmephasis
try smiling for once, it'll improve your ugly ass face!

jessica00267
Ew y r u reading that book its so bad

unfollow.this.account.xox
You aren't making any difference to the world. Just give up on this thing you call 'feminism' and become a normal 14 year old jesus christ. Nobody appreciates you.

I closed my eyes in both, anger and sadness. More of these comments. Well I would just have to ignore them, like I did every time.
Why did people hate me? What had I ever done to them? I believed that I was benefiting the world by openly supporting things like feminism and rights for all races, sexes etc. So why were so many people against me?

Maybe it was because a fourteen-year old Disney star shouldn't be spending her time fighting for equality, and should be hanging out with her friends eating lollipops. Maybe even because they didn't agree with my opinions, which I didn't care about. I believed my opinion was right and that was all that mattered.

I did have friends to hang out with. One or two close ones, who had suddenly turned very distant from me nowadays. Of course I had the cast of Girl Meets World and other Disney stars. Honestly, I felt really lucky to have these many people supporting me in life.

However, I only really talked to them on set and afterwards while getting lunch and I think it was safe to say that we got along fine. We talked like normal people, ate like normal people and said our 'goodbye's like normal people.
The thing is, I wasn't normal at all. I felt different to them and didn't enjoy myself as much as I should with my 'friends'. That doesn't mean we fought and cold-shouldered each other. We were friends...or I guess you could say close acquaintances.

The only person I really hung out with these days was my sister Carmen. She, unlike me, had loads of friends that she could hang out with but still managed to keep some time for our sisterly hang-outs. I loved her, however annoying she could be at times.

So for most of the day, I was out at photoshoots, occasional Disney meet-and-greets and of course the ice-cream shop nearby. I adored ice cream. I won't get into describing how I savour it, otherwise I would be defined as 'odd' but I loved it.

And the remainder of the day I spent on my phone.

"Rowan! You've been cooped up in the hole you call a bedroom all day. Go get some fresh air!"
My mom clearly didn't agree with me spending my life on social medias. It was annoying because I had absolutely nothing to do outside, but I couldn't argue with my mom. So I sighed just so she knew I didn't want to do this, grabbed some shoes and stuffed my wallet inside my pockets. For the ice-cream, y'know?

"You won't be needing that," my mom said, fishing my holographic wallet out of my jeans. Her mother sensory skills were working great today. Ugh.
"But what else do I do, mom?" I moaned, being the melodramatic fourteen-year old I was destined to be.
"Go call your friends to hang out or something! Ice-cream is going to make you fat!"

She'd gone too far. Glaring at her I scurried out of my home and made my way to the nearby park and took a seat on an unstable bench. It was 'Dedicated to Andrea Barnes for her massive help to the town'.
I had body and face issues, which seemed untrue to everyone because I posted so many selfies on Instagram. But I had them and I hated it. It took my twenty minutes to decide on what top to wear each morning. The thought that people would judge me and make fun of me scared me.

Before, I'd looked up on Google 'how to get rid of insecurity of your face'. They'd suggested a few simple tips, none of which worked for me. I posted those mirror selfies on my Instagram to boost my self-confidence about my face, but did they help? No. No matter how many likes and nice comments I got, I never seemed to cheer up.

My mom had said I was fat. Well, she technically hadn't, but it felt like she had and I did not like it one bit. Although it might've been true...oh God. Was I fat?

"No, no you're not. You're really not. Stop thinking these things. Don't. No." I muttered to myself, pretty loudly probably because people seemed to hear me as they passed along the grass.

This is why I had hardly any friends.

☁︎☁︎☁︎
hey, this is my new book! I hope you liked the prologue. Just to make it clear I do not own anything or anyone, just the plot. This is not Rowan's real life at all, this is simply a fiction.
also in this story, corey fogelmanis is not in Girl Meets World. Farkle is played by someone else.

-manya♡