The Adventures of Fluffy and Fluffian

Summer Vacation and My Cousin

My cousin: *can't speak English*

Me: ...

My cousin: *waves and leaves*

Me: He probably hates me. Or he just doesn't wanna talk to me.

My mom: No, sweetie, he's just really shy like you! You can't speak to him either, right?

Me: Well what if I pronounce something wrong?! What if I say something dirty or something?!

My mom: It's okay, you don't have to talk to him that much. He's just the only first cousin on your mom's side, lives half across the world from you, and probably won't be able to see you in years after this trip. You don't have to get to know him.

Me: ...

Me: Mom why the fuck do you do this shit to me.

***

First Week of The Trip

My cousin: *quiet as fuck*

Me: *sitting across from the couch*

Me: ...hi.

My cousin: ...

Me: okay I see how it is you little chub

Me: you wanna make this awkward don't you

Me: I see how it is

My cousin: *leaves the room*

Me: *dying inside*

~~~

Me: I wanna bond or something with my cousin.

Me: How the fuck do you do that when you two can't speak to each other nor have any interests.

Me: All I know is that he has a cat and has a green balloon.

Me: ...

Me: Oh lovely now I have the idea to draw something for him. And now it's not gonna leave my head.

A Day Later

My mom: It's so cute! Even your aunt likes it!

Me: Oh really? Okay, that's good. Can you give it to him? He won't understand it if I tell him it's for him.

My mom: No, you're giving it to him.

Me: EXCUSE ME WHAT

My mom: Look, he's right there. Give it to him.

Me: MOM WHY

Me: *walks up to my cousin*

My cousin: ?

Me: *shoves picture in his face and runs away*

Me: *runs into room*

Me: *dies of embarrassment*

My dad: So, how'd it go?

Me: OH I DONT KNOW DAD, I WONDER WHY IM MAKING WEIRD DYING NOISES IN THE BED. MAYBE I JUST DIED INSIDE OR SOMETHING, OR BETTER YET, MOM'S OUT TO EMBARRASS ME IN FRNT OF MY ONLY COUSIN HERE

My dad: ...oh, okay. *continues to play his FPS game*

Me: *dying sounds intensifies*

~~~

Me: Oh, his cat's really cute!

Me: I love cats, but Mom, you're allergic, right?

My mom: Yeah. Oh, by the way, his cat's name is Farty.