Ash and Dusk

Chapter 4

Kirill attacked first. He was fast and I couldn't see his strike before he punched me in my stomach. It hurt. I stepped back avoiding a second blow. Then I waited for him to come at me.
He has figured out my strategy and turned his body in the last moment. He was now behind me and I got hurt in my back.
I am losing. That though came uninvited. I have to do something, and quickly.
He was much taller than me and I could use that in my advantage.
I rolled on the matterss to avoid another strike and when I rose up I kicked him in the stomach. He looked slightly injured but recovered immediately. All I did was to make him angry. He turned around, punching me in my arm and I fell on the floor.
I was so weak. I have to do this. For Grisha. For everyone who's training here. Just stand up. I encouraged myself.
When Kirill approached enough I hit with my feet upon his feet. He fell and I stand up. I tried to restrain him but he moved faster and I had to give back. I have tried to punch him multiple times but he moved too fast.
I was really injured, really mad and tired. Tired of fighting again and again. Tired of being the perfect Sun Summoner everyone wants. I felt like something inside of me woke up. Before I could realise Kirill was laying on the floor, outside the circle. From his mouth was felling blood. I looked down at my hands to see more of the red liquid.
"Well done, Alina." said Lyov clapping his hands with sarcasm "You have beated one of my best students." With a sign of Lyov's hand a healer took Kirill away.
"We had a deal and now I guess I'm supposted to do what you say. No problem." He grinned and continued "Besides, now you are one of my best students as well."
I looked at him without saying a word.
"I think the Sun Summoner already had her training for today. Don't you think?" Asked Lyov the Grisha. Nobody said something. "You may leave."
I step outside the circle to take my kefta and leave but I noticed everyone was staring at me. Mostly of the stares were scared, scared of me, but some of them were filled with anger.
I walked forward without stopping and then I saw someone standing in the doorway.
He was wearing a black kefta, as always, and on his face was a half smile.
The Darkling watched the entire fight.

***

I went in the woods for a walk. It was already night but I didn't care. I left Kirill laying on the ground. How did I do that?
I never wanted to hurt him that bad. I just wanted to keep the lessons as they were before.
What's happening to me?
In my mind were so many thoughs and I haven't noticed when I arrived back to the lake.
I sat on the grass looking at the dark water. There were no lights in the Little Palace. It must have been really late.
I felt strange. I don't know why I was suddenly so sad.
I am empty. And I am alone.
"Why are you out here?" someone asked behind me.
I haven't turned around to see who spoke. I would recognize that voice anywhere.
"I don't want to sleep" I replied.
The Darkling came closer and he sat next to me.
"I don't want either" he said.
I looked at him. He looked perfect, with some of his black hair falling on his face, and his features were emphasised by the moonlight. He looked so innocent, like a boy who was forced to grow up too soon. I shaked my head at that though.
"Now tell me" I paused intentionally "why are you really here?"
He stared at me. I saw indecision in his cold eyes. Then, he spoke.
"You were feeling alone."
He probably knew that because of our connection.
"I'm alright" I lied.
A half smile played on his lips.
"You are a terrible liar. And you know that too" he said.
"And what do you want me to say?" I broke out. "I'm not alright, I just beat a man and left him without offering my help, Mal died and now I'm alone like you said, I disappointed the people who had trust in me and now I can't be the powerful Sun Summoner everyone wants because I can't just save the world in a heartbeat" I stopped for a moment to look at The Darkling. His expression softened impercetaible. For me was enough.
"I can't even look at my friends anymore without seeing disappointment in their eyes" I wishpered. "And I don't even know why am I telling you this."
I looked at him. In his quartz eyes was something strange. Understanding?
"You can always talk to me" he replied, his gaze never lefting my eyes.
I didn't said anything. I just got up from the ground.
"It's late. I should go to sleep." I told him.
All the way back I thought I heard his voice saying "Goodnight, Alina."

Another chapter is finished! Hope you liked it! Sorry I haven't posted these 2 days, but I was kind of busy. I'll write another chapter tomorrow!
Also, I wanted to thank everyone who's reading my story. I know this fanfiction it's not popular, but I'll keep writing it anyway because I simply love the world that Leigh Bardugo created. I felt like I have to continue her amazing work for the Alarkling fans. Besides, I'm one of them ;)
Enough of me, I'll let you read peacefully.

Enjoy,
Annie