Where We Collide // l.h.

Chapter 8

Luke's POV

"Luke. Hey Luke. Luke!!" I hear Emma saying while I feel her nudging my shoulder. I turn my body around and see her dead in the eye.

"I was trying to sleep" I tell her and she drops her eyes.

"I know I'm sorry.. I just... I can't sleep. Its dumb. I'm sure I'll fall to sleep eventually. Just go back to sleeping. Sorry for disturbing you" she says and turns around so her back is facing me.

I sigh deeply and run a hand through my hair. Debating wether or not to put my arm around her body. My actions getting ahead of my thoughts quickly act out and without thinking my arm quickly snakes into her tint waist and holds her close to my chest. She's so close to me that I can smell her vanilla shampoo, and I inhale deeply, missing her smell, her touch, her warmth. Missing her.

"I still find it weird that they couldn't find any rooms with 2 beds. Don't you" She says before turning around again, but this time our faces are much much closer, my arm is draped across her body, keeping her as close as possible.

"Yeah" 'Super weird' more like I threatened them so that if you ask if they have a room with 2 beds they better say no and give us this room. "Totally weird" I say again smiling and shaking the thoughts off my mind. "How are you Emma?" I ask her, feeling a sickening sensation on the pit of my stomach concerning her health and well being.

"I'm fine Luke. Why?" She asks me, her big grey eyes shinning, and lighting her whole face, making every line, feature, even freckle visible even though the room is pitch dark, and I take every single detail of her face in, almost like taking a mental picture of her, like this, with me again, holding her close to me, like nothing ever happened, like we were totally fine. It felt as if nothing ever happened. Like I never cheated, and she never depended on alcohol, drugs, and random guys at the bar. Like they never took Jude. I close my eyes and try to hold on to that feeling, the feeling that everything is okay, for a little longer, until reality kicks me in the chin once more.

When I open my eyes again I see that Emma has her eyes closed and her breathing has turned more slow and clam. Also, with her eyes closed, the sparkle in her eyes is hidden under her eyelids, making her face features almost impossible to see. I can still make the outline of her lips, her nose, and her eyes. I let my eyes adjust to the new darkness without her shine, and notice the frown between her brows that I've grown to adore, the freckles on her nose, the mole under her left eye, and I notice something I never noticed before. Theres a small scar of a line on the space between the in-between of her nostrils and the middle of her mouth. Its small and impossible to see when she's smiling, making it hard to see. Every line, every scar, every freckle, mole, or any other thing girls find imperfect, I find it absolutely stunning on her, making this scar one of my favorite things about her physical.

"God you're killing me Emma" I whisper, so low its almost like no words even left my lips at all, while my thumb caresses her cheek. She's so beautiful. So gorgeous... And I broke her. I can't help the lump rise in my throat and the knot of guilt at the bottom of my stomach starting to grow. I took this beautiful, gorgeous, amazing woman, and broke her. Her skin is pale, laking the glow it had a few months back. She's skinny to the point where her collar bones are so prominent you would find it scary, her legs and arms are so skinny and her rib cage is slighting visible on he stomach she could pass as someone with an eating disorder. The bags under her eyes never leave her face any more, and as much as she tries to cover them up with makeup, you could see them a million miles away. Still, I find the way she look beautiful and perfect.

"I'm so sorry Emma. I destroyed you" I whisper and kiss her forehead, leaving a warm wet trail on it of my tears, thats when I notice that I was crying. I kiss her forehead again, close my eyes and hold her body as close and tightly as possible as I could to mine, and try to fall asleep with the warmth of her body indulging me and music of her low snores filling me.