Lift Your Head Weary Sinner

55- My feelings are sorted. Oh wait, no they're not.

"So, how was it?"

"Shut up."

Sam smirked. "Aw, come on. It couldn't of been that bad."

I rolled my eyes. "Sam, I was hit on by some dude cosplaying Dean!"

"Oh. That's- that's..."

I grimaced. "Yeah."

"Anyway, we have bad news and even worse news."

"As per usual. Let's go bad news first."

"Okay, bad news is that the hunt ended up to just be your friendly neighborhood ax murderer."

I gave him a deadpanned expression. "So you're telling me that I had to suffer through a day with Becky for nothing?!"

"I'm afraid so." Sam was fighting to keep the grin off of his face, and I could tell. "Even worse news,"

"This should be good."

"Yeah, so get this. We think Castiel and Crowley are working together to find Purgatory."

I burst out laughing. "You're joking!" Then I saw the troubled look painted vividly in Sam's features. "You're not joking."

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." Sam's eyes drifted off the road for a split second to meet mine. Dean was asleep in the passenger's seat and Sam was driving.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. That's ridiculous." I shook my head. "Why would you ever think that? Cas would never sell us out."

Sam managed a smile. "Yeah, that's what Dean said too."

---

I was quiet for the rest of the drive, contemplating Sam's theory. It couldn't be true. He would never sell us out.

The boys don't know him like I do. He was, quite literally, an angel. I loved everything about him. His permanent sex-hair, deep brown, so dark it was almost black, soft as duckling down. His eyes, so blue that the sky paled in comparison. His lips, the way they fit perfectly with mine and always tasted of honey. His gorgeous wings, jet black like spilled ink, the feathers softer than silk beneath my fingers. He smelled like something, something I couldn't describe that was just uniquely him. No, Castiel smelled of the metallic twang the air gets right before it rains. He smelled like fresh mountain breezes. Castiel had a scent of sea salt, like a breath of air through an open car window while driving past a beach. He reminded me of fresh, linen bedsheets and clean motel rooms. The angel was like old trees in a dense Washington forest, like pine and maple, redwood and fir. Crisp and ice-like that reminded me of the first time I saw snow. Pavement, like too many bad roads, and sand, like Castiel spent his time roaming the Sahara. Clay and earth and dirt, the scent engraved in my mind from when my brothers dug me up from my grave. And lastly, Castiel smelled faintly of lavender and the Impala's leather seats, gunpowder and sugar, spray paint and graphite, peppermint and motel shampoo. I knew those last scents well, as they were me. Castiel smelled like everything all at once but sometimes nothing at all. It was bitter and tangy like a copper penny in my mouth, but sweet and familiar like a snowflake on my tongue. Oh, and his cute nicknames. Lately he had taken to calling me kitten, because of the incident with the witch that zapped me into a golden fluffball. Among his other pet names was Honeybee, for reasons I could not understand. One of my favorite memories was of when My brothers, Cas, and I decided to have a picnic for Sam's birthday...

"I don't understand the purpose of this. Why not eat the food inside instead?" I look over my shoulder at Castiel; he's standing next to the kitchen table, and he's staring skeptically down at the picnic basket. He's looking at it the same way I assumed Pandora looked at the Pandora's Box before she opened it. I turn my head back and keep looking through the cabinets for something sweet to take along. Bobby didn't exactly have a fully stocked kitchen.

"Because it's supposed to be a little cozy Cas. You're doing something you normally don't do, and it's nice. Unless some ants eat all the food, that is." I chuckle, having finally found a bag of candy, hidden far back in the cupboard. I grab it, pulling it out and looking inside. Jackpot! I knew Bobby had some good candy in there.

I turn around and look at Castiel. He's still watching the picnic basket, and I can't help but laugh a little. I walk over to him, and loop my arms around his waist. "It's not going to jump and attack you as soon as you turn your back, you know."

Castiel turns around, and wraps his own arms around me. "Yes, I am aware."

I chuckle, and drag him down by his tie so I can kiss him. The kiss is short, but is soon followed by another one, and another one. We exchanged many small kisses by the time Dean and Sam walk in.

"Hey, not in front of the food." Dean whines. Castiel and I break apart, and I turn to glare at Dean, who simply shoots one back. "Now, are you teenagers finished? Ready to go?" He asks.

"Yep, just one sec." I say, putting the candy bag into the picnic basket, before giving Castiel another kiss. Dean makes a fake gagging noise and I give him a playful glare. Honestly, sometimes I doubted Dean was even older than six, let alone my oldest brother.

When we leave the house, the sun is shining and I can't help but smile. We walk toward the forest, near where I used to be buried. I take Cas' hand in mine, and Dean makes a face at Sam. After just a few minutes of walking in comfortable silence, we find a clearing perfect for our use. We stop and I put the basket down. Sam pulls out the picnic blanket, Dean and Castiel take out the food. I help Sam put down the blanket. A few minutes later, everything looks good and we all sit down, the sun shining through the canopy of leaves overhead. There's salad, sandwiches, grapes, apples, cookies, cupcakes, and of course the candy bag. To drink we have brought along some beers, as per usual. I open one and down half of it in one go.

"Ah, that's good." I smile contentedly. Dean chuckles and opens one for himself, and grabs a sandwich. Sam does the same, except taking some salad instead of a sandwich. Castiel, who didn't need to eat, just took an apple.

We sit like this for quite a long time, and just chat and eat. It's been awhile since we've have been able to catch a break from hunting, so I'm enjoying this to the fullest. When the sun disappears, we decide to pack up. It doesn't take long, so soon we're on the way back to the bunker. I tug at Castiel's hand, making him stop. Dean and Sam are walking in front of us, so they don't notice. I put my hands on Cas' neck and give him a quick kiss.

"That was fun." I say with a smile.

"I must say I agree." Castiel says as his hands come to rest on my hips. He drops a kiss on the tip of my nose before pecking my lips again. I tangle my hands in his hair, deepening the kiss. Castiel pulls me even tighter against him, his tongue swiping my lower lip. But before I can do anything more, we're interrupted by Dean yelling.

"Come on you love birds! You'll catch a cold!"

"Mind your own business, Dean!" I yell back. Castiel chuckles, and gives me a quick kiss before we continue walking towards Bobby's house.