Boys Your Age

19|My Hair Is Brown, He's Scared To Touch

"Phil, I'm never going to stop loving you."

Phil looks up from his laptop where he was editing to see Dan leaning in his doorway. His eyes are gentle, and such a pretty shade of brown. He looks adorable, but he's so much prettier when he's happy. Why do I feel as if I've thought that 100 times before?

"I'm not going to stop loving you either, Dan." Phil says quietly. Why even bother hiding the truth?

Dan nods. "So, why are you so scared of being with me?"

Phil shakes his head. "You're not even eighteen. I'm no good for you."

"You're perfect for me. Why can't you see that?"

"You weren't even gay until now. You always said you liked girls. You're just confused."

Dan rolls his eyes. "I wasn't anything but in love with you my whole life. I don't mind that you're a boy. What does it matter?"

"Danny, you are everything to me, but it's best we remain friends."

Dan sighs. "I'll be yours one day, Phil."

Phil gives him a sympathetic look. "You already are mine, Dan. My best friend."

"But I want to be more than that."

"You only think you want to be more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"You're too young to understand."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm old enough to understand that you just don't love me anymore."

"Why does it feel like we've had this conversation before?" Phil says frustratingly. He puts his head in his hands. It's become a habit of his to hide in his hands.

Dan shrugs. "Because we have."

Phil doesn't answer. He stares at the carpet through his long fingers avoiding Dan's gaze. He starts to remember the first time Dan ever told him that.

"Maybe, I was wrong. You make me doubt that you ever loved me in the first place." Dan says quietly.

Phil takes his hands off of his face, and sighs. He keeps his eyes on the floor. It's very quiet for a while. "I think you know exactly how much I love you." He says finally.

Dan doesn't say anything. He does know. Phil had told him. Phil just doesn't remember.

"I do." Dan says. He stares at Phil longingly for a couple of seconds before he then walks out of the room without another word.