I Could Never Leave Your Bed (Mike Fuentes)

Chapter 9

I woke up in a fright, but as I looked around James wasn’t anywhere to be seen. This was probably the fifth time I had woken up from the nightmares that just wouldn’t stop. His blue eyes kept haunting me in my sleep, and all I could dream of where the distorted memories of him. I could feel the tears starting to pool over in my eyes, and I could feel where his hand touched me, and I didn’t want that feeling. I ripped at the clothes I was wearing and I clawed at my skin because I didn’t want that feeling. I could hear my breath coming in short gasps, and I knew that if I didn’t stop soon I was going to hurt myself more than I already was, but I just couldn’t stop.

I didn’t realize that the curtain to the bunk had opened, or that someone was staring at me, not until their hands found their way to mine stopping my attempts to get rid of the felling of James hands on my body. I looked up to find Mike who looked more scared than I’ve ever seen him, and that enough to make me stop.

“Please don’t do this to yourself.” His voice was a whisper, but I heard it crack and that crack left a pang in my chest. His eyes wandered over my body and I realized that I was just in my bra and panties, but that wasn’t why his eyes were taking in my body. His eyes traveled from each bruise and now the scratches, and I could see how much it hurt him to see me like this. “This shouldn’t have happened to you.” He said as his brown eyes locked onto mine. “I should have stayed with you, I should have never left.”

Though I knew he was talking about earlier, but something in the way he looked at me told me that maybe he wasn’t just talking about tonight, but all those years ago. I looked away from him not willing myself to think of that night, not willing myself to think that he cared, not in the way my traitorous heart wanted him to.

Without warning he removed his hands from mine and climbed into the bunk with me, and I could feel my heartbeat picking up speed at the close proximity he was in. He didn’t even ask if it was okay for him to stay with me tonight, he simply wrapped his around me and held me close, while I silently cried. He didn’t have to ask because I wanted him here, I needed him. He closed the curtain behind him, and drew the covers over us, so it was just me and him. Nothing else mattered at this point because he was here, and he was going to keep me safe.

As he stroked my back and left small kisses on my forehead, I found myself slowly falling back asleep. When I woke up Mike was nowhere to be seen.