Chapter Fourteen

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The have Skye knocked out in the surgery room. All I can do is watch. I won't lie I'm worried. But I know the doctors know what their doing. They're cutting into her chest now.
I watch as they use forceps to hold the skin out of the way.
It looks so weird. It makes me sick. I hate to see so many people around her opening her up and playing with her insides.
I think they're moving the organs out of the way now. They have weird tool to hold them back. I wonder what that feels like. I squirm around at the thought. I watch as they cut the arteries. Well I assume that's what their doing. It's going a lot faster than I had thought. I just want it to be over with. They remove her heart. She's a machine right now. Right now she's only alive because of a machine. What if the machine fails. What if something goes wrong. I start breathing heavily.
"Ma'am are you alright?"
I'm brought back to reality by a nurse who happened to be walking by. My breathing steadies.
"Yes. I'm fine. Thank you." She nods to me as she walks by.
I snap my attention back to the surgery room just in time to see them taking out the new heart from a weird container.
It's almost over. They put it in and start attaching the artiries. Then the worst thing that could possibly happen, happens.

"DOCTOR WERE LOSING HER!"
No...no...not again....not again.
I stand up and move closer to the window.
They take out the difibulators and a nurse notices me.
"Ma'am were going to need you to leave."
"No... no!"
I start yelling as she pushes me into the waiting room. And again I'm rendered useless. All I can do is wait.
I start thinking about all the times we've had. My mind flashes back to when we were in Japan.

"Ching Hong hung chung."
I laugh as Skye is making fun of the Japanese language.
"That's so rude you're going to get us arrested!" We both laugh, " I dare you to try to order something." I challenge her.
"Challenge accepted." She stands proud and tall and walks up to the counter. The man says something in Japanese and Skye makes a face.
"Uh....that!" She points to a weird dough looking thing on the menu and the man nods. He types out a receipt and hands it to her as she pays with the money we converted from American dollars. She walks back over to me standing tall and proud.
"Did itttt."
I laugh at her and we wait for the man.
He says something in Japanese again and hands us a tray with the doughy thing on it.
"What the hell did you order?" I laugh.
"I have no idea." She laughs with me and we sit at a table.
"I'm not touching it. You try it first." I look at her and she pokes it. It looks like a dessert. She takes a knife and cuts it's into fourths. She picks one of them up and takes a bite out of it. Her eyes widen and she takes another piece and shoves it into my mouth. I taste it and its amazing. It's fluffy and sweet like honey.
"This is amazing." I look at her and take another piece. I watch her and laugh as she's shoving the entire thing in her mouth. I gather she agrees with me. I laugh.

That was so much fun... I can't lose her. I cant.. My mind flashes back again. This time to Quebec.

We're walking down a street market and suddenly Skye comes to a halt.
"Why did you stop?" I look at her slightly confused.
"We need to get maple syrup. We NEED to. It's like the staple of being canadian."
I laugh at her and we walk to a stand that's selling maple syrup. She stares at me and then grabs one and pays for it. We keep walking down the market.
"This is a lot of fun." I look at her. Her eyes are so beautiful when she's excited.
"Yeah. Where else do you want to go?"
"Eventually I want to go to London. I've always wanted to go to London. It's so pretty and I love the accents."
She laughs.
"London next then."
She jumps with joy and her brown curls fly everywhere. We keep walking and Skye is eyeballing a little tent with jewelry.
"Go ahead." I smile and she runs over to the tent. She looks for a few minutes and then hold up a bracelet. It's green and it has little designs on the beads. I nod and hand her a couple dollars.

I'm dragged out of my thoughts by a tap on my shoulder. It's the doctor. I stand up and look at him. He opens his mouth the speak and then stops.
No....
"I'm afraid...she didn't make it.....Im sorry for your loss....."
No. No...this can't be happening. The room is spinning and my vision is blurry. No...Why....why couldn't it be me! It wasn't her time!
I run out of the hospital and just run. I don't know what else to do. I run and wipe the tears from my eyes. I fall to the ground outside the house.

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without light? It would be consumed by darkness. You wouldn't be able to see three inches in front of your face. Everybody would be lost...and confused. Well Skye was my light. And now my mind, my heart, is consumed by darkness. I can't do it without her. I brought Jack back to the pound... I cant take care of him by myself. And he just reminds me of Skye.. I boarded up her room and I stay away from home as much as possible. Her funeral was last week and I decided it would be best to bury her here.. She considered this home.. I haven't eaten. I can't. The thought of it just makes me sick... I'm sorry Skye...its all my fault...

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