Okay guys, im really hoping at least one of you guys are reading this when I publish it.
I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.
I bareley ever get panic attacks. And when I do, its serious (the last time I had a panic attack was when I broke a glass by touching it).
I'm slowly losing hearing in my left ear.
At least, that's what I think.
This morning(/ night idk for you) I went to the doctor's office to get my ear checked out. I have an ear problem where my ears produce too much wax, so much wax in fact that I could not hear with my left ear.
The doctor called in the nurse to help get the wax out. The nurse got 90% of the wax out, leaving a healthy amount for my ears.
But I still couldn't hear.
I didn't panic in front of my mother, or my amazing doctor, because I don't get freaked out that often. I don't cry that often either now that I think about it.
Anyhow, im freaking out, since my parents are already deaf, and I love music so much.... I dont know what to feel.
I play violin, and certain bands (Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance) helped me get through some of my darkest times.
Today I was out with a few friends, we were playing "Paranoia" a great game. My friend on the left of me, had to ask me a question.
She asked the question 6 times before I realized I was using my damaged ear.
I laughed it off, even though I feel like crying.
My thoughts right now:
What the hell, brianna. You're confessing your feelings to people who came to have fun. They dont want to take your depressing crap.
But... whatever, you guys are the only ones I can come to right now, because to everyone in my immediate family, im the strong child, and cannot say anything.
I need your guy's help more than ever.
~ Author
August ish./2016
(Dammit im crying)
