Hey You ⌲ Paul McCartney

16 // real love

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January 17, 1962 // 9:57 pm
{ Soundtrack; Real Love - The Beatles }

I looked out my gaudy-looking window as I reminisced the summer of '57. It was about 6 months since I've talked to Paul or John, but they've got things to do and so have I. Maybe my father deliberately cut off all contact with them so I could work on my studies - I've been trying to get into Oxford for the longest time.

But I know someday, Paul's name will mean nothing to me. It won't stir any old memory, or any lost dream. It won't make me hope for a past, or wish for a future of us together. Someday, his name will be nothing more than an unfamiliar word.

"Dad, I'm going out," I sang as I tightly wrapped a white scarf around my neck and headed out.

"Wait! Your mutha is coming any minute now," he alerted without even taking his eyes off the grubby daily newspaper. He was so attached to the daily news, as if it were his afternoon tea. Everyday he'd walk outside to the windy Liverpudlian air and take a deep breath. Then he'd fake a warm and welcoming smile for the newspaper boy as he rode down the street. My Dad was oddly intriguing like that; never having the intention to be detrimental.

"And that gives me a better excuse to get out."

"Your mother just wants to see you," he let out a defeated sigh as he tapped his tiny cigarette onto the empty ashtray.

"Well, I don't want to see her."

"Penny!" But it was too late. I walked out the door and I found myself walking down to the intersection of Penny Lane and Woolton Street. I sat back on the cobblestone ledge and sat with a patient smile plastered to face, hoping desperately with every ounce of my being that John would be there and would greet me with one of his dry, sardonic remarks. But he never came.

I then went to the ice cream shop from 7 months ago where we devoured our chocolate cones in a matter of seconds. I even asked the old lady - who had worked there every day for 50 years - if she knew where the scouser, John Lennon, went. But like everybody else in this bored and sheltered town, she hadn't got a clue.

Maybe there's a reason why he fled town in such an abrupt manner. Maybe he just wanted to get as far away from me as possible. But before I could finish contemplating over why he left, I pulled out the "fortune" Paul had given to me. I realized all these unjustified pre-assumptions about how Paul had enticed me into bed with him were actually romantic - to some extent anyways.

He must've remembered me the night at the pier. I knew Paul, and I knew he wouldn't do all that work for someone he didn't know... He'd always say "I've got better things to do then following girls around like a puppy."

So that made me realize that maybe that fortune did come off eerie in some ways, but I fount it utterly flattering.

~

Under blue moon I saw you.
So soon you'll take me
up in your arms.
Too late to beg you or cancel it,
though I know it must be the killing time;
Unwillingly mine.

~

After I read over and analyzed every aspect and world to that poetic note for what seemed like hours, someone with a soft touch had rested their hand on my slumped shoulder. "Penny, what are you doing here so late?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Well, I guess you could say I'm enjoying this beautiful town at night," Jean tried to explain, but I could see right through her.

"You hate this town with a passion, Jean. You're with that Keith bloke, yeah?" She nodded sheepishly as she averted her eyes down the narrow street of Penny Lane. She was very adamant about the feelings she had for this bored and sheltered town.

"I don't know where the lad has gone though... But I found you and I'm quite honestly relieved... He's getting so clingy recently. I don't know what to do," she sulked as she suddenly dropped her heavy head on my weak shoulder and we both found ourselves falling into the bushes. We started laughing hysterically but both simultaneously stopped when we heard the subtle sound of someone plucking a guitar string. I got up, completely infatuated with the sound the strings made when the unknown person strung them. "Penny!" Jean whispered sternly but I ignored her.

As I kept walking aimlessly through the thick oak trees, I came to an abrupt stop when I found the source of the angelic guitar strings. It was a man, a rather young one. His hair was thick and complicated, suddenly reminding me of John.

"Bright are the stars that shine,
Dark is the sky.
I know this love of mine
Will never die.
And I love her."

He sang and I felt myself swoon. His voice was so pure and genuine... I craved hearing it again, but it seemed as if he were done. I carefully watched the hazy silhouette of his guitar case closing and locking. He was getting up, and I had to get out. But being the clumsy person I am, I tripped on my sneaker shoelace. "Who's there?"

My jaw dropped and I brought my hand to my mouth with a gasp. It was Paul. "Paul!" I yelled out, but he was just startled by my sudden appearance.

"Fucking hell, Penny! You frightened me!" He yelled at me as he brought his hands to his temples and started rubbing them.

"That song... It was so beautiful. Who is it about?" He just quickly glanced away, and started walking away, leaving me with a million thoughts racing around in my head. "Paul?"

"It's about you, alright? You've left me completely and utterly lovesick for weeks and months on end. After getting into the Quarrymen all I wanted to do was just make amends with you... I loved you," he choked up. My eyes started tearing up; just hearing those last words transported me back to when he said: I can't love you.

"Loved?" He nodded, picking up his pace as we found ourselves back out on the cobblestone streets. "But..."

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's not like you ever loved me the way I loved you," he recoiled and I was astonished by his lack in faith in me.

"But I do! I do love you!" I said carelessly, the pain in my voice clearly audible, those words have no meaning for him, but I say it anyway. I remember blushing whenever he used to stare at me, I remember the way he used to touch me. He gazed at me for a long time.

Then with a heavy heart, he says, "We can't do this anymore, Penny. Me band's touring tomorrow. This is why I was practicing there, to get some bloody peace and quiet," he muttered contemptuously as he started to walk away. I stood there completely stationary as his figure disappeared into the dark and foggy night.

All my little plans and schemes,
Lost like some forgotten dreams,
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for you.

____