Healer

Chapter 16

A/N: Long update for keeping you guys waiting! Hope you like it! xx

I deflate onto the pillow, still reeling from the horrifying pain I've endured the past day. It's over now.

My baby is here.

I open my eyes drowsily, struggling for breath and look down at the midwife rested at the end of the bed. There are no cries.

There's no sound and I feel my heart stop in fear.

Everything begins to slow.

No.

A single tear descends from Ann's eye, staring at the child, completely still in the woman's hands. I begin to feel a tight, twisting in my chest and I shake my head, disbelieving.

"I'm- I'm sorry... mistress," the woman utters, painfully.

Ann rushes to my side as I go weak, deflating into the mattress.

"No! No, no!"

"Gillian, look at me!"

"Give me her! Now!" I scream, trying to move forward. Ann presses down on my chest, shaking her head. "She's alright! She's alive! She has to be-"

"You need to remain calm, Gillian! You're still losing blood!"

The door opens in a flash and Lachlan is suddenly there. He turns away immediately from the sight before him, placing his hand over his mouth with a low gutted sound.

"No."

Ann cups my head, breathing in and out deeply. "Please, calm yourself, Gillian!"

"My baby..." I sob, reaching out. The midwife, stands with the small little girl wrapped in a cloth and hands her fragile body down to me. I shake my head in dismay when she's set in my arms and feel my vision blur.

I struggle to remain conscious but it's inevitable.

I lose sight of her.

...

"Gill... Gillian."

I blink, tiredly, feeling a hand caressing my face lightly. I turn my head, finding Lachlan seated beside the bed. His eyes are hollow and hurt- reminding me suddenly of what I've lost.

He smiles softly. "Hello."

I try to give something back, anything. I try but fail, slowly falling to pieces. He looks down, spiritlessly as I shake my head, trying to get ahold of myself.

"Where-where is she?"

"Buried... We- had to. You've been... under for a while."

The pain intensifies. "Why? Why did it happen? I went through all of that and she's still not here!"

"I don't know why, Gill. I don't... I'm sorry. I know ye really-"

He doesn't finish- maybe he can't. Wiping my face, I blow out a shaky breath. "I'm-I'm sorry too."

"Don't worry about me. I'll- I'm fine," he says softly, resting his hand over mine. "You're still not doing too well. You're going to need to build your strength up again."

I look away and he grabs my face, turning it. "Listen to me, you need to get better, alright? Ye can't just give up!"

"I can though," I whisper, softly, staring at him evenly. His brows turn down angrily and he gapes in disbelief.

"Still that willing to get away from me, huh?"

I shake my head. "It's not even that anymore... I'm just- I'm just so sick of feeling loss! I'm sick of loving something and having it torn from my fucking hands!"