LifeStyles

Sixty-Three

Monday

We are honest about how naïvely we had both pictured our reunion at Summer Haze. We agree that we were under the misguided impression that we would pick up in all things where we left off before my accident. A rewind of those unrealistic expectations brings an instantaneous alleviation of the stress and a more relaxed air of doing nothing but getting back to 'us' ensues.

Subsequent to waking in hospital, I whiled away many hours despondent and introspective but mostly sad in reflection about the impact upon those that I love. My mind was still in its infancy of recovery then and those perceptions were complicatedly muddled. Now, in the peace and quiet of the garden where I thrive the most, it allows me more measured contemplation.

Harry's words of wisdom about not neglecting my inside bruises is the catalyst that propels me to consider how I really feel. I approach the tunnel willingly but when I stumble he takes my hand and guides me into the darkness to talk at length about those bruises. He listens attentively and without interruption as I dig deep below the surface to extract the truth. He offers his humble opinion and when some of it is hard to hear, his arms to safely melt into.

Those safe arms, his precious kisses and kind reassuring words wrap around me like soothing bandages. I emerge out the other side galvanised and with most lines definitely drawn; only a few dotted ones remain that need the gaps filled.

Although my relationship with those closest to me is much improved, my sister still remains an unreadable enigma at times and her reasoning is something I hope to tackle head-on.

Harry says he adores my caring nature but he lovingly suggests that I need to be a little more selfish. I worry too much about my parents, my sister, Olive, sorting the florist's employment issues out!

"It's time to put yourself first for a change," echoes around my head. "And also, one thing at a time," he reminds me as he smiles down at me resting my head upon a cushion on his lap. His grip upon my hand is firm and his other twirls my hair around his fingers. "Rome wasn't built in a day, Beautiful."

Tuesday

Arrives with Harry's homemade smoothies for breakfast courtesy of a NutriBullet Rx. I could not resist buying it for him and it was worth every penny to see his face light up at the thought of no more lumps in his amazing array of concoctions!

He joins me for my stretches then suggests a vitamin D enriched yoga relaxation session in the garden with, much to my relief, no omming! Afterwards, I step out of the shower to him shaving at the sink. He beckons me to sit up on the vanity unit and offers to apply arnica cream onto my bruises. His touches are purely gentle with no sign of being sexually charged but when I glance down at his fingertips, the sensation of their caress brushing my skin awakens butterflies in my tummy.

Later, Harry FaceTimes with Emily at her home and they chat for over twenty minutes. Although he is in another room, I hear him sharing jokes and laughter with her and it glows a warm beam on my face.

Despite his jovial demeanour during the call, when he rejoins me afterwards I see the burden of upset across his hunched shoulders and fallen features. He comes towards me with his cross between his lips and his eyes down like he is in prayer and he practically falls into my embrace. My hug is the only solace I can offer him as he lets a few tears fall; the ones he rarely allows anyone to see. He explains almost solemnly that she looks much frailer since the last time he saw her and her courage is remarkably inspiring.

It is painful to witness him upset but the fact that yet again he is comfortable being so open emotionally with me, hammers home a realisation. As we increasingly share everything in and about our lives, an affinity is swelling between us. The force of this unique bond scares me a little bit but that is largely outweighed by the exhilaration that raises the hairs on my arms and the flutter that has returned inside my chest.