Lost with hope

41

I woke up and everyone had already gone to town so I decided to take a walk in the woods. I walked until I saw a pond and decided to rest. I sat down next to the water and looked at my reflection.

What I had done last night came flooding back all at once. The water started to ripple from my drips of tears disturbing it when I heard whispers. I turned my head toward where I heard them only for them to move.

I kept looking for what was whispering but it kept moving until more whispers started. I stood up and looked around, trying to listen to what they were saying. "She must be a whore."

"She's crazy." I turned around quickly, "no I'm not!" I yelled only for more audible whispers, "see, she's denying who she really is." I started to cry even more, "you don't really know me! I didn't have a choice!"

"She's a slut." I started to run, not able to take their hurtful lies, or were they. "Now she's trying to run," "it's because she knows we're right." I couldn't stand it anymore, I screamed and started to run faster.

They kept whispering about me and I finally stopped and screamed for them to stop. "Stop it! Just stop! You don't know anything about me!" I cried more when suddenly they stopped. I was suddenly being shaken by someone in front of me but I couldn't see who it was due to my tears.

"Lilly! Lilly, please wake up!" I shook my head and opened my eyes again to see Duncan. I looked around franticly to see I was in our room and Gabriel standing at the door with a terrified look on his face.

"There you go baby, you're OK, I'm right here." Duncan pulled me into a hug and I just sat there shocked. My entire body was shaking and I was covered in sweat. Duncan pulled away and started to dry my face with a dry rag.

"Are you ok baby?" I nodded slowly and looked at Gabriel who seemed to relax a little bit. "W-what h-happened?" I couldn't get my words out how I would've liked. Duncan looked behind him at Gabriel who just shrugged.

"You started to toss and turn so I got up. When I did you started to scream and shake. I turned on the light to see you better and you were pure white. I tried to get you up but you kept screaming, that's when Gabriel ran in and you started shaking so violently the bed started to shake and then it felt like there was an earthquake. You finally woke up after I actually grabbed you and shook you."

Duncan explained, looking into my eyes for an explanation. I looked at the bathroom and then at Duncan. He knew exactly what I wanted from the bathroom, "what was the dream about, baby?"

I shrugged not wanting to say it out loud, he shook his head and then froze. I know he read my mind by how he looked at me, it was a look of hurt and surprise.

He hugged me and I hugged him back crying, "baby, they were lying. You aren't anything like that." He pulled away and looked at me, wiping the tears off my cheeks, "you are perfect baby. Nothing they say will change that."

I nodded and looked at Gabriel," I'm sorry I woke you guys up." Duncan stood up and grabbed some PJs out of the dresser, "it's ok sweetheart, you didn't mean to. Here take a shower and change into this."

I nodded and looked over at Gabriel. "Eh, I don't mind. He's right though," He shrugged. I got up and started to head to the bathroom as Gabriel left to go back to sleep.

"Baby," I turned and looked at Duncan, "promise me you won't cut?" I stopped and thought for a moment, "please?" He stepped towards me, I saw the pain in his eyes and nodded slowly. "Thank you baby. I'll be out here if you need me"

I nodded and took my shower. When I got it I put my PJs on and saw one of his razors. I slowly picked it up and stared at it, I wanted to cut so bad but I made a promise to Duncan.

I set the razor down on the sink and headed back to bed. I laid down next to Duncan and snuggled up beside him. I felt him wrap his arms around me making my want fade away.

"Thank you," his chest vibrated as his sleepy voice filled my ears. I felt his arms tighten around me as I felt sleep taking over me very quickly. I couldn't respond as I fell fast asleep in his arms.