Can't Buy Me Love

Chapter Twenty One

Both men looked stunned, but then Marina was there and she looked at Nathan, “yes, what are you doing here?”

                “I wanted to talk, you’re ignoring me.” He turned to Alex, “sorry I did get you into this under false pretences. I knew Marina would be unsure about seeing me.”

Alex looked embarrassed, Heidi looked angry, Marina was just tired, exhausted, “guys, can you give us a few minutes please?”

Alex gladly scurried away Heidi hot on his heels, whilst Marina led Nathan out onto the veranda. The house was built into the hill and had a large wooden veranda on three sides of the ground floor from where you could overlook the whole of the valley below. Today that was a snowy view towards the distant villages and ski resorts, but whereas she normally felt serene and relaxed by this, at this moment she failed to find an ounce of calm.

As the door clicked closed behind him, she turned to him anger and frustration steaming out of her ears.

                “What the hell are you doing just turning up like this? I told you I had things to do, I want to live my life Nathan, Adam. Shit I don’t know! Why are you haunting me like this?” In frustration she lashed out at him, hitting him in the centre of his chest.

He stepped back for a moment, “I realised you were right...”

                “Yes I was right!” She continued poking his chest punctuating her sentence, “I am up to here with controlling men!” She waved a hand above her head, “I have no interest or inclination in what you have to say!”

He smiled, “I came here to tell you that I’d give it all up for you Marina. When I said you were right, I meant that you made me think. There are reasons why I’ve been happy to change identity, to hide from who I really am! I hate my upbringing, I’ve fought it for so long, become other people, distanced myself from any real life. Do you know I have no real home? No house that’s mine?”  He sighed, “When my sister needed me I got a friend to help her instead of doing what I should’ve done which was go see her, help her MYSELF. She uses drugs to hide, whereas I’ve just run away! How bad is that? But I still blame our parents...they did NOTHING for us, but their legacy lives on for as long as I keep doing this.”

Suddenly she could see into his soul, could see his sadness, his regret, this seemed to be a genuine plea, but her resolve was stronger.

                “All I want is that chance to see what works with you.” Nathan carried on, “I love spending time with you, you’re funny, intelligent, you push me in debates...and, well even your kisses blow me away...and more than that is....” he looked to the sky in a dreamy way and Marina couldn’t contain her laughter.

                “Now I know you’re bullshitting me!”

He shook his head, “nope. I was due back at the FBI offices today, but I knew if I flew back to the US then I’d never see you again. So I told them I was taking time off. I NEVER have time off, but now I wonder if I’ll ever go back. I know I want to be with you Marina. Please say something?”

                “What do you want me to say? That I’m happy that you’ve been pushed in a corner and finally pulled your head out of your arse? God Nathan you drive me mad! I have made a decision, I want to travel, visit friends...and now you want this?” she gestured wildly around herself. “Us?” She laughed, “why don’t you go back to my house in Yorkshire and live there on your own, have no contact with anyone else for eighteen months? THEN come back and ask me to give up my dreams for you!”

Nathan shook his head, “I’m not asking for you to give anything up. I just want to be a part of whatever you do. Be involved with you, I don’t know how this would work either, but I know I can’t walk away with no plans to ever see you again.”