Pisces - tripped and fell off a cliff
Cancer - didn't die
Gemini - accidentally ate some of Laughing Jack's poisonous candy
Aquarius - Jeff stabbed you to death for being annoying
Virgo - every creepypasta started beating you up cause they were bored
Capricorn - mauled by a bear
Aries - died peacefully in your sleep
Aquarius - assassinated by ninjas
Scorpio - was swimming with Ben and you two both drowned
Leo - offenders dick was too big and it split you in half
Libra - choked on your own spit
Sagittarius - didn't die
