Chaos for the Fly [The Walking Dead Fanfiction]

Chapter 10: Try

        "My mother was really uncomfortable with intimacy." Daryl looked up at her, the light from the newly risen sun gave Alice a godly glow. He wondered if he wasn't still dreaming. "I remember stubbing my toe on the corner of the couch. It had these wooden pegs that stuck out further than the frame, and I wasn't a careful child. I cried so loudly that my mother was only partially dressed when she came running down the stairs." He sat up, recalling the events of last night to justify her sleeping here. "She stared at me awkwardly, saying things like, don't cry, and, it's going to be alright. I reached out to her, I just wanted to be held, but she stiffened. It was like she was afraid of me. So she patted me on the head, because she was trying to love me." 

        Daryl watched her gaze not catch his own; it was as if she wasn't even there. Was he dreaming of secrets, or was this some sort of surrendering? Alice was so well put together, that even he could forget she was broken. "I never cried in front of her again." 

        He rubbed his eyes, still unable to look away from her. "A lot to ask of a kid," he started, carefully choosing not to direct the conversation to himself. Daryl's own mother was very similar. Perhaps, he thought, this was a common thing among abused women. It's hard to see past the father in their children.

        She finally acknowledged him. "She was my mother. What else was I suppose to do? I loved her." He scoffed, starting to dress in some other over used looking clothes; Alice distracted herself away from him. 

        Something about this mother of her's bothered Daryl, and he wasn't completely sure of why. It was a special form of self loathing possibly, to hate people who are like himself. "Love is a dumbass excuse you people use to justify bad people. You're smart, right? Think about it, love is nothing but a feelin', and a feelin' ain't nothin' but a damn lie. It ain't who you are, and it sure as hell ain't who they are." 

        To his surprise she didn't come out of his words swinging, but smiling. "You sound like someone who's loved and lost." Her eyes looked through him, "Tell me tough guy, you ever loved before?" He grunted, not appreciating her condescending tone. "That's what I thought. I don't expect you to understand what it feels like, but I can tell you, it's more than a feeling." She stood up, readying to leave, "I feel sorry for people who don't lose their minds in love at least once." 

He followed her outside the tent. "So Barbie had a Ken then, doesn't mean you know what's best for people. I ain't never needed any of that pansy ass shit." 

                Alice turned around to look at him, and it was his turn to glow with an eerie light of the sun. "There was never a Ken, just a lonely little boy."

        Daryl didn't follow right behind her, but waited to drag behind. That lonely little boy was him, but she didn't know that, and he was too busy telling himself it wasn't him. Memories are all people have left anymore, but his were alive, sleeping next to him unaware. He had a heart to love once, that little broken girl. A smirk graced his lips for a moment, that girl was now a woman, and she was still too good for him.

        "So--uh--guys..the barn's full of walkers." Alice had only just reached the group, Daryl in step behind her, when Glenn spilled the beans to the rest of them. 

        Shane seemed outraged by this, waving his arms around as if he were swatting invisible bees. He grabbed the Asian boy by the collar. "There's walkers feet away from us, and you are just telling us now!" Dale tried to come to the rescue, but Rick beat him to it, pushing back his old partner. 

        "He only just found out, Shane. Calm down." 

        The shaved man chuckled dryly, "Calm down, you want me to calm down with those things right over there." He said, pointing to the barn with the tip of his knife. "No, we're gonna do somethin' about it. It ends right now."