iii. trust issues

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"Can we be friends?" he asked, giving me a vibrant smile, as he reached his hand out for a handshake. Yeah, that's just great. It is a stupid ques-- wait, WHAT?! No way! Okay, I already approved him for sharing my table with him but this? This is getting out of hand! I-I can't be friends with boys!






Yes, I do have some "friends" in the Student Council but they're the type of friends that only approach you whenever they need something. Like what I've said before, I have no true friends in this school. And right now, this guy who's smiling like an idiot in front of me reaching out his hands for an agreement handshake, asking if we could be friends?! Okay, you could say that why don't I just accept him because he could be something, he could be different to them-- That's the point. I'm afraid that they might leave me like again what others did. I'm so tired being used then leave me just like that.


Okay, here's a little something why I can't accept it. First of all, he's just new here. He doesn't know what consequences he'll go through when we're friends. Second, he might get in a huge trouble because of me. Third, he might just use me since maybe I'm the first one he knew then suddenly leave me in the air and join the others' company instead. Just like what others did to me. Lastly, as you all know, I don't like boys. So yeah, we can't be friends.






"Sorry, but the answer's no," I answered. I looked at my watch and there's still 10 minutes before my next class starts, "So, hey! I gotta go right now! Bye--" I was about to take my first step when he suddenly grabbed my wrist.






"Let go of me," I demanded as I tried escaping from his tight grip.





"Not unless you tell me why." he said in a serious tone.



"You're making a scene! Let go!" I slightly exclaimed while I keep on trying to escape from his tight grip by shaking his hand off my wrist but he won't let go. He stared at me with eagerness, wanting to know the reason why. Ugh, he's so annoying!





"Okay. First of all, you don't know what you're doing. Secondly, using others and leave them when you got bored is a crime. Third, you don't know me yet. Lastly..." I suddenly stopped. Not literally stopped, I just don't know what to say next since all eyes are already set at us.





"Use you? Why would I use you when I only wanna be friends with you? And what's the last one?" he asked.





I grunted, "Why do you wanna know? It doesn't matter anyway," I said and looked away. Nothing mattered from me to them anyway. It's like I'm so useless, and that's how I truly feel whenever I go to school.






"It matters to me," he seriously said then I suddenly felt he quite loosen his grip on my wrist. "Look at me." he held my chin up as I slowly tried to look through his eyes if he really is sincere with what he just said. Because whenever I try to befriend with someone, after a couple of months, they'll just leave and forget about me like nothing happened. That's why I find it hard to easily trust everybody.





Staring at his hazel brown eyes, I saw a sign that he is sincere that sent me chills to my spine so I immediately looked away and said, "You don't know me anyway so let go of me." and tried one more time to escape from his tight grip.


No, I just can't.






"Not unless you tell me why," he said it again. I took a deep breath. Why is he so freaking persistent!?






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