The Depths of the Heart

The reason (poem)

I still love him.
Even after that night,
Even after the past pain.
How can someone be so cruel that you just keep coming back.
That you still crave that past pain.
That you still desire the scars on your back.
How you still stalk your heart's content.
Backing up on your consensus.
And suffering under your own skin.
How come nobody ever see's me but yet they wonder why I stay.
The reason why I keep going.
The reason why I don't just pack my bags and leave?
Well I don't know why I keep going,
Why I keep breaking,
And why I keep telling myself that I'm only his.
The reason is why.
The reason for all my past pain and suffering is because I don't think I deserve better.
Because his words break me and his strong muscles shatter my only breaths.
Why I stay is because I'm as ugly as him on the outside and I fear that,
That's what the whole world only sees they look at my fake smile and call me beautiful and they look at my eyes and they don't even see me!!!
Why I stay.
Because I know I'm not going anywhere else he needs me,
Because I'm nothing,
Nothing but fake beauty.
But yet I'm beautiful because my reflection says that my scars will fade but the pain remains deep down inside.
My walls cave when I hear his sweet,
Evil voice who tends to heal my bitter wounds.
...that he caused.
why I stay is no longer a why but a when,
When will I learn and when will my heart finally say no.
I'm not nothing I'm something to good for him unknown to love and life I'm not perfect and that's okay with me I don't strive to be perfect,
I just want to be me.