Chapter 1

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~EDITED 3/29/20


-Reader discretion is advised- 










It was hot.

I was breathing rapidly as I tried to keep up with him. The sound of my heartbeat drummed into my ears, muting out the sounds of our moans.

I tangled my fingers in his hair pulling on his dark locks urging him to keep going.  More I needed more of...I couldn't get enough.

I squirmed underneath him as he pushed himself into me faster and faster. My hands loosened from his hair and slid down his back quickly slipping off of his sweaty body leaving me to grab his dark sheets as a euphoric feeling ran over my body. My legs began to shake uncontrollably as they loosened around his waist. 

I couldn't control myself  I didn't want it to end, I wanted this moment to last a lifetime.  This feeling, this pit of euphoria sank into my stomach deeper and deeper until suddenly it didn't feel good anymore, my stomach wrenched and a cold shiver ran throughout my body. 

My throat collapsed.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I quickly shot up from my bed, dripping in sweat. That night, I could hardly remember him. I cursed to myself, I had the dream again. I threw off my sheets and sat on the side of my bed holding my head in my hands. I need water, I stood up, my weight fell as I bent over in incredible pain, my stomach turned and I quickly pushed myself into the hallway and into my bathroom across the hall. The sound of me coughing up last nights ramen noodles could be heard throughout my desolate home.  

I gaged at the thought of myself vomiting, and then I vomited again as I saw beige chunks of ramen floating in the toilet.  Closing my eyes this time, I softly pulled down the toilet lid and weakly pulled myself up. I flushed the toilet and sat on top of the closed toilet lid. I wiped my face with the back of my sleeves and shook in horror as the images of my vomit flashed through my head. 

"I thought all ramen was good, even if it was a few weeks expired, it was only a little crunchy," I thought out loud. "So, why am I so sick all of a sudden? Its been four weeks since that night. Could it be that I'm? Nah, I couldn't be I'm on the pill..."

I cycled through alternatives in my head, but the same singular thought rocked back in forward in my mind.  "Damnit..." I got up from the toilet and rushed into my bedroom yanking out a drawer from the bedside table. I opened up my pill tracker and noticed that I was on schedule. I breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as I laid back on my bed. 

"Fuck me." I threw myself down onto my bed, and laughed to myself, "Thank god, I'm not an idiot, I don't know what I'd do with a baby right now." I crawled under my sheets turning off my bedside light. I chuckled to myself, "Fuck was that scary". I felt my stomach gurgle and turn as a wave of nausea passed over me. "I should at least get tested, right? Birth control can fail sometimes, yeah...I'm gonna go get a test, I shuffled out of my bed and picked up my phone.  "I'll go get it when it's not 3:00 AM, yeah...yeah..when it's not 3:00 AM," I said as I pushed myself back onto my bed. I tried to revel in the cool touch of my sheets, but the pressing situation that grew achingly in my stomach waivered on my mind and I found myself scrambling to find a decent position all night until suddenly it all just stopped. 

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