TOLKIEN; imagines

37: The Martyred Angel's Love - Fili

15. "Its not okay if it has cost you what you care about, and rendered you to this."

17. "It hurts me seeing the chaos they've caused. They've hurt the only one my heart yearns for."

19. "For once, don't listen to your mind. It's caused you enough pain already."

A/N: I added in 17, I hope that's okay with the anon that requested this. Also, this is placed in Erebor before it was Smaug's so this fic will feature a teenage/ young adult Fili :)

Translations: Lansel: Love of all loves

Warnings: None, I don't think

Words: 1550

The dwarves were a tough race but they were unstable. Dwarrows and Dwarrodams alike would ridicule each other to the point of no return. Those picked on usually were the weak and the unusual. We were not like the celestial race that were the elves for we did not always treat each other in the highest of respects and we were not like the hobbits who were kind-hearted and innocent. We were, in a way, like Men, greedy and selfish, except those feelings had a longer period to brew and fester, for we lived longer than Men, but were not immortal and flawless as the elves.

    Unfortunately, I was weak, the victim, the martyr. There were few who knew me, and even fewer who could stand being kind to me. The heirs to the line of Durin, Fili and Kili, were among that small group, but even they couldn't be around to protect me from the wicked pranks and jokes bestowed upon me.

    Today, I had been teased about my clothing and looks, which yes, made me a little saddened but that was not the events that had rendered me to tears. I had returned to my chambers late, only to find all of my paintings, my poetry, my sketches, torn to pieces and strewn about the room as if a wrathful gale had ripped its way through the small room, destroying everything I cared about. Years upon years of my work had been ruined and now I was left with nothing. I had scurried throughout the room, trying to piece together some of the shreds that now closely resembled my heart, but after about an hour, I had lost all hope and had sank to the floor, tears streaming from my face.

    I had completely ignored the knocking on my door until my sobs had ended, making the soft calls of 'Y/N' from the other side of the wooden slab audible.

    I sighed wondering who could possibly want me. Was it someone delivering a message, or someone who would taunt me, pushing my emotions farther into the pit of cooling tar that they were already drowning in. Despite my paranoia, I stood and made my way to the door, pulling my sweater coat that I had obtained from a traveling hobbit tighter around me.

Once opened, the door revealed a slightly disheveled and worried looking Fili.

"Hey," I sniffed as I wiped at my nose.

"What happened? I came to see if you would want to take a walk with me, but when I came to your door, I heard sobbing, a-and then you wouldn't answer the door," Fili explained, a little flustered-like. "Just... Just tell me you are okay."

"Oh, I am fine," I said, trying to hide my true melancholy and grief that had worked its way into my mind. But my efforts were to no avail as I felt my lip quiver as the muscles in my face tightened, my vision blurring considerably with tears I thought I had surely gotten rid of.

"Y/N?" Fili asked, his hand reaching out to touch my arm with the tenderest care.

As the first tear of my second round of sobbing fell, Fili immediately looked around before slipping past me and into my room, pulling me along with him with a "Come now, I won't allow people to see you like this."