If You Leave {Jacob Black} <revised>

i. have. to. go. *gotta blast*

Bare shoulders touching. Kisses on the neck. Moans filling the atmosphere. My hair sprawled on the backseat of his broken car.

And now I'm pregnant.

My body shakes as sobs are heard throughout the empty house. Back in New York, this never would have possibly been me.

Moving to Forks has made me vulnerable - I'm crying over a boy I barely even know. I'm pregnant for crying out loud. I am not myself, I'm a pregnant, teenage girl with no one to turn to.

Money usually fixes everything, but this is a different type of pain. A pain that a pair of shoes can't heal.

There's always getting rid of it, but I know deep in my heart that I can't. Not for Jake, not for the ancestors. No matter the outcome, I want to share a part of Jacob. I have to, it's in my destiny. Ever since he looked at me the day he left, I've been feeling even more desperate without him. I want him. I want to feel his embrace again.

I want to spend my life with Jacob Black.

Gosh, what is happening to me?

"Leesh, is everything alright?" Bella Swan's voice drifts from the staircase.

"I'm fine." I say, quickly wiping my face clean.

"You're crying," Bella's body sits on the bed, in front of me, Alicia Rivera. She stutters, "I'm not - I'm not stupid. We're cousins, nothing's worst than having a secret that you can't tell anyone."

I scoff." Bella, what could you possibly be keeping a secret? I don't think you'd be able to understand."

Bella looks down at the carpet. "I'd understand."

What the hell.

"Bella, I'm pregnant."

Bella's mouth opens in shock - nothing comes out. Similar to Billy's.

"Exactly, you don't understand."

I get up to leave.

"By Jake?"

"Who else would it be? Your vampire boyfriend?"

Bella flinches. For a short second of time, I feel regretful for saying that.

"Sorry."

She shakes it off.

"I didn't think you'd have an apology bone in your body."

"Are you trying to be funny?"

She shrugs.

"I guess so. What are you going to do?"

A thought flickers to my head.

"Wait a minute. He didn't tell you? Aren't you, like, his best friend?"

Little Swan shakes her head.

"Jake'll come around. He's a good guy. If he knows you're pregnant, he-"

I interrupt her.

"He doesn't know I'm pregnant. Only Billy does. I don't think I want Jake to know that I am. Me and Jake are over, according to Jake himself." I sniffle.

Bella Swan stares on in shock, not sure of what to say.

"I think I have to go, back home to New York, maybe. I don't want to, but I feel like it would be best if I did."

Bella shakes her head no.

"You can't go. There's school, and-"

"I have to go." I decide, once and for all, knowing that Bella only wants me here for her.

~~

"Charlie, thanks for having me here." I smile, sincerely at my step-uncle.

"It's no problem, kid."

Charlie took me to the airport, just us two. He didn't know that technically it was three of us now.

I am going back to Westchester. My parents weren't too thrilled when I gave them the phone call, admitting that I was pregnant. I was ordered back home. I need New York. I need this.