As your kiss fades

Skylar held my hand through the missing person background check. I was screaming inside.

After the police officers had left I lay my head on Skylar's lap, the tears flowed from my eyes, spilling all over his jeans. He stroked my head and I tried to imagine Chris had just gone away for a while but It was so difficult. Skylar pulled me up, holding me. I couldn't help thinking of the pain Chris's parents were going though, There only child, gone.

'I hate to see you like this.' He said resting his cheek on my head. I didn't want to reply. Chris would always say that when I was crying or sick.

I hardly ate anymore, and when I did It was scarcely a peice of bread and some orange juice. Skylar was beginning to worry about my health.

'Tay your getting thinner you have to eat something... You cant go on hunger strike waiting for him to come back.' He said stroking my face. I pulled away looking back at my plate of pasta.

'Taylor. I don't want to say this but I don't think hes coming back... I mean Its been two months-' He began, but I cut him of quickly.

'He wouldn't just leave. He wouldn't. No..' I sad sobbing more. I broke down, collapsing into myself. Skylar attempted to lift me from my chair but I pulled away. I'm sick of feeling like this I thought. I need him back. The pain was so immense that at night I couldn't sleep. Skylar stayed with me all the time now, sleeping on the couch.

It had been around four months since Chris's disappearance and the pain was lulling inside of my mind. Instead of being constant It would jump out In attacks of panic and frustration. I was beginning to laugh a little but as soon as I did I would stop and remember Chris.

'Taylor. You cant let this live your life. That's not what Chris would want.' He said stepping towards me. I stepped back. I was shivering, I was cold all the time now.

Attacks of grief were all so frequent. The worst was four months and three weeks after Chris's disappearance.

I woke up, screaming my voice loud I was sweating my hands clutched into the pillows. Skylar ran through and held me.

'Taylor! Whats wrong.' He said frantically. I was panting breathing hard. My head ached and I curled up in tight on the bed sobbing hard. wailing pathetically. Skylar held me through this lulling me, trying to help me. When my sobs became silent whimpers Skylar carried me through to the bathroom, mopping at my face with a damp rag. I stared straight at  the door, willing Chris to walk through It, his arms open. I wouldn't care where he had been, I would hug him tight and never let him go. I got up and walked back to the bedroom, lying down. Skylar watched from the door and then came and lay beside me. I was to tired and to sad to even bother asking him to leave me alone. I lulled myself to sleep.

I woke up in Skylar's arms and I awkwardly shuffled away but he pulled me closer.

'Shh.' He said quietly. I didn't want to lye there in his arms. But for some reason I didn't want to pull away. I didn't want to admit It but I knew what I was doing. I was using Skylar as my distraction.

seven months after Chris's disappearance I was a little better. Though at night I payed the price. I remembered Chris. Everything was becoming more and more normal until Skylar did something un expected.

'Taylor. I know this Is- I just. Um.' He stuttered and then clasped my hands in his. He was close to me, I could feel his breathing in my ear.

'Taylor I still love you.' He said quietly. I didn't react for a moment and looked up at him. There were tears In my eyes. I pulled my hands from his and cupped his face in my hands, Staring into his eyes.

'Skylar I cant, I wish I could. I wish I could just- I cant.' I said a tear falling down my cheek. Skylar closed his eyes and sighed.

'When you gonna move on Taylor.' He said quietly. I dropped my hands and walked into the bedroom.

I cried alone. Wrapping my arms around my knees. I was interrupted by my phone buzzing.

I looked at the screen, It was an unknown number. I panicked and picked It up, Hoping to hear... But It wasn't Chris.

'Oh hello, I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm looking for Taylor Eston?' The voice said concerned. I gulped a little.

'Speaking.' I said clearing my throat quietly.

'I'm calling from Brokerburn Mental health hospital. We need to know do you know a Mr. Skylar J. Farlanes, If so Is he with you?' She said.

'Yes I know him and he Is with me, why?' I said concerned now.

'Taylor Is he in the room with you?' She said pronouncing every word.

'No.' I said locking the bedroom door, my heart thumping.

'Taylor your friend Is on the watch out. He usually turns up at the clinic every two months to receive medication and therapy. He Is very sick Taylor, we looked in his records and you are the only person In there we could find. Where are you?' She said concerned. I didn't reply. I was beginning to panic and then my mind hit It.

'Taylor? TAYLOR?!' Said the voice from the phone. I hung up quickly.

I knew what I had to do.