The Secret Diary of Jane Elliot

Afternoon Tea with Lady Wakefield - 27th of May 1851

The morning sun woke me up from my limitless slumber and I feel, surprisingly enough, fine. I am not scared, I am not confused. It is as if I have everything in order inside of my head, even though I know that is most definitely not the real case. In reality, I have the imminent proposal of marriage I will be forced to accept, the anger I must be met with by my friend, and all of these things I seem to be trying to ignore, but the rational half of me knows I must face them head on and be brave. I must be brave.

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Breakfast with father went as usual- he was cold and distant, seemingly speaking more to his drink than me. My studies seemed to fly by. I wish someone would call upon me to break this wretched stretch of boredom. Anyone but Sir Radcliffe.

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My dearest aunt, Lady Wakefield, came by for afternoon tea. Gentlemen such as my father are rarely with us ladies during tea-time so all my father did was greet my aunt and go into his study again. I'm not surprised that he would've denied the invitation if we had given it to him, he seems to prefer his bottle to his daughter these days. I love him dearly, though, so it seems cruel of me to think that he doesn't love me back. He must love me. Right?

In other news- Lady Wakefield brought some exciting news during our tea.

"Dearest Jane," She began in her usual excitable tone, "I have just been informed of a grand ball held in London in two weeks time."

I felt I already knew her demand as soon as she spoke, but I played along nevertheless, "Oh? And are only the rich and majesties to be invited?"

She nodded just as Charlotte came in with more tea. Aunt ignored her, like she did with all of the servants, while I smiled at her and softly spoke a small, "Thank you." when she poured my tea. Guilt filled me as I remembered how I had betrayed her- I hope she can forgive me and understand.

"Oh, of course, my dear," Said my aunt, "And, as you are my sister's daughter, you are to be specially invited by the hosting family, the Pennyworth's."

The Pennyworth family is one of the richest,high-class family there is in London. Jeremy and Matilda Pennyworth have four children- William, Adelaide, Richard, and Elizabeth. William has already married, as he is the oldest. Adelaide has married into another family, Richard is an eligible single bachelor, and Elizabeth is still pursuing her education, hoping to become a writer one day. 

Elizabeth and I have known each other since we were merely four years of age, but over the years we have drifted apart. Maybe this ball could be my chance to re-connect with a lost friend, and hopefully also forget about my encounter with the phantom. My life must continue on, not stop just because of a spirit that isn't even of flesh and blood.

"I'd be delighted to go," I replied with a smile, "When are we to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning," My aunt replied.

"Tomorrow?"I asked, confused, "Forgive me, aunt, but didn't you tell me that the ball is held two weeks from today?"

"Indeed I did, my dear, but the way to London is long and you'd need proper rest before the ball."

"So I shall be staying with them for two weeks?"

"Yes, and I expect you to be on your best behaviour." My aunt said sternly, as though she believed that I shall cause her reputation harm. Truth be told, I was 12 when I tripped over my dress and fell into the pudding tray at my aunt's birthday celebration, but it is as if she shall never forget the incident. To this day she can't eat raspberry pudding without remarking upon it with shame.

And so, now you know about my trip, dear diary. I fear I shall have no time to tell my Lottie about my trip to the churchyard, and maybe I should merely leave it be. Maybe our friendship will be better off with this one secret- it's not like it's one that shall do her much harm.