Chapter 21

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A/N: This chapter is dedicated to three of my beautiful readers - ilove_pandabears , Annabunanna & BWidow1101

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Nathan 🌵

I pushed my way through the tall trees and overgrown bushes to a place I hadn't been to in a long time - 6 months to be exact.

As soon as I reached my destination I gazed at the familiar surroundings that was only slightly different than it had been 6 months ago. The last time I was here the trees were bare, the lake was frozen and everything was capped in frosty snow. Now it was summer and the sun shone brightly on the rippling water, the trees were adorned with healthy green leaves and birds chirped happily from their treetop perch.

I inhaled the earthy scent of "our special place". Coming here reminded me of her and I felt a pang of pain in my heart. The pain wasn't as bad as before but it still hurt a lot. My psychologist and I decided that I should visit this place one last time to bid a final farewell. This place was special to both of us and I could no longer come here without her.

I pulled the crumpled letter out of my pocket. I have postponed this long enough. For 6 whole months this letter lay at the bottom of my drawer desperately waiting to be read! And I was finally ready to read her last words towards me. I just hoped that it wouldn't be as accusing as I expected it to be. I should've been a better boyfriend. And now it was all too late.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I refused to cry! This will be a peaceful farewell. My heart will be at ease knowing that she rests in peace.

My eyes rolled over the words written in black ink. I can't believe that I had never appreciated her handwriting before. Looking at those words swirled so perfectly across the page filled my heart with a strange yearning feeling. She was as beautiful and perfect as her handwriting.

Keep it together Nathan! I told myself. I had just finished reading her beautiful letter and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I thought I was done crying over Grace! I hated myself for being so weak, but I couldn't help it. All I could think about was the last time I saw her. Her face pale and ghostly, her skin as cold as ice and her body still and lifeless.

I shook my head, trying to shake out all these horribly morbid thoughts. I decided to think of a better version of Grace. Not the pale, dead figure but the beautiful, freckled girl. I focused on one particularly pleasant memory of her and I was filled with warmth, happiness and unbridled desire.

*Flashback*

I knew she was awake. I had just texted her a few moments before. As I stood on her front doorstep I considered my options. I could ring the door bell which would most likely bring her parents to the door and they would seriously be wondering what this strange young man was doing on their doorstep at this hour (it was past 10 at night!) or I could throw stones at her window, which might sound romantic and cliche, but I didn't think it was a good idea, because not only might the window break, but her parents might hear and then I would have the same problem as the first option!

Suddenly I had an idea and I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

N: *stone*
N: *stone*
N: *stone*
G: What the hell Nathan?
N: I was going to throw stones at your window but I figured this would be a better idea. Could you manage to sneak outside?
G: Omg Nathan, you are such an idiot! I'll be down soon :*

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