Innocent Love

Over Again

And everything was so wrong now. A month  without Harry, and he was already so broken. Sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it. All the sufferings and crying. But then he remembered the 16 year old, the x factor Harry who was so innocent and full of hope. The Harry who wished of nothing more than doing what he loved: singing. Louis hadn't thought that Harry had found something more important than singing and fame: Louis. He hadn't realized that Harry would gladly give up everything for Louis, to be with Louis.

It was about 7 o clock and Louis' hangover had turned into the familiar buzz again. Louis had started his nightly routine of downing the alcohol. He was on in 4th can, when he heard a knock at his hotel door. First he ignored it thinking it was for someone next door. Who could possibly want to talk to Louis. No-one had the last couple weeks. But then he heard it again. And again. So he got up in his drunken state and opened the door go see Liam.

Liam looked surprised at the state Louis was in. He had noticed that Louis was looking a bit sick: a bit too skinny and a bit too pale. But before Liam had a chance to say something, Louis always managed to slip away and leave before Liam noticed or had a chance to talk. But Louis was getting worse by the day. He hadn't seen Louis in 5 days, and Louis look horrible. He stood there speechless for few seconds, just noticing how broken Louis looked. And then it clicked, Louis had it worse than Harry, than anyone in this situation. No matter the reason Louis broke up with Harry, Louis was also heartbroken. He was also going through a breakup, and while Harry had all the lads support, Louis had nothing. Actually, he did have someone: hate. The people most close to Louis had all despised him for what he had done to Harry, they were all ignoring him. Including Liam. Liam hated to admit it, but yes Liam did ignore Louis. Not completely like the rest of the boys, but to some extent. They were all so quick to go after Harry, that they didn't even thing about what Louis was going through. And at that moment, looking at Louis's state, Liam truly felt like crying. He felt stupid, and awful, and like the worst friend in the world. How could he not have noticed? It was so evident now that Louis was not OK. He was far from being OK.

When Liam didn't speak for a while and just kept staring at Louis, Louis asked with a cracked voice because he hadn't talked to anyone for few days, and also because of all the alcohol he had consumed. "yes, Liam you knocked?" and that seemed to bring Liam back to the moment.

Liam (gently hugging Louis, noticing now fragile and skinny he looks and feels) "Happy birthday buddy! You're 21"
Louis (surprised)  "wait what? What day is it? Is it already Christmas Eve? "
Liam (loosing it. Tears in his eyes. The lad didn't even notice his own birthday and Christmas Eve. What was he going through?) "I'm so sorry Louis. I'm so sorry for not noticing. I'm so sorry for not being here for you. Here you are at Christmas Eve and your birthday, alone and drunk. And I didn't even notice. I'm so sorry for being such a bad friend. Here you are, so miserable and I was just foolishly partying around. I didn't even wish you happy birthday until now."
Louis (wide-eyed, shocked and speechless)
Liam (continuing on, tears falling, speaking fast, without thinking, getting more and more mad at himself as the words come out) "I saw you getting more and more worse everyday and never came to comfort you. I couldn't see past what you had done to Harry. (Louis tearing up, still shocked) But I didn't even think that you might have a reason for doing this. Didn't even think that you might be going through pain as well. Instead, we all abandon you when you needed us the most. We all ignored you and made you feel worse than you already did. We all blamed you and never even thought about what you are going through and how you fell."

More and more tears were falling off Louis eyes. Each year fatter than the one before, with more emotion and hurt. Then came the violent uncontrollable sobs. Liam pulled Louis into another hug, a big warm hung and more comforting than the one before. And Louis was crying harder then he had before, mumbling few things that was inaudible to Liam. They stayed like that for what could have been anything from few minutes to eternity. And after their little moment, Louis had finally calmed down. He felt so much better, better than he had the past month, better than when he was passed out drunk.