Harley and joker oneshots

Sweet day

Harley pov
Sooooo board! I wish mistah J was here!
Text
Joker:hey baby won't be home till later idiots can't do things right.
Harley:alright puddin love ya.
Joker:love you to pumpkin.
End of text
Hm something tells me he won't be in a good mood.
I know I'll make him a cake!
Do I have everything??

Down stairs
Alright bowl cake mix spoons and strawberrys. Well almost home made.
First  stirring and stuff of making a cake
( I don't know how to make a cake I so smart lol )
"Harley!" The joker yelled.
"I'm right here puddin." "Alright baby." "So how was your day puddin?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Alright puddin."
"What are you doing Harley?" "Stuff." I said with a giggle. "Hmmmmm." The joker said while walking to the kitchen. "Puddin out." "This is my kitchen woman!" I giggle. "Ya know what might make your day better?" "You upstairs in something sexy." I roll my eyes and look at my clothes. I'm already wearing a sports bra with yoga pants with my hair down. "No close your eyes and open your mouth." "Okay?"
He then closed his eyes and opened his mouth.
I then put a strawberry in his mouth.
"Now what's this for harls?" "Just because." "Hm guessing a strawberry cake?" "Is there any other kind you like puddin?" "Hahah very funny."
"Ugh why are there so many flys here!" "I don't know puddin. I haven't seen any." "Hm where's the fly swatter?" "I think in the laundry room." "Thank you my dear."
He then grabs the swatter.
He the hits her ass with it.
"Puddin!" "What I thought I saw a fly." "Mhm." "So anything you did today that was fun?" "Nope,now I don't want to talk about my day okay." "Okay." I said with a sad look on my face. "Hey baby don't be upset." "I'm not up set." "Then why do you look so sad?" The joker said while wrapping his arms around her.
"I'm fine puddin." I said while putting frosting on his nose.
"Oh little girl." "What puddin?" "Let's see there is pink frosting on my nose." "It's strawberry."

He then picked her up and laid her down on the couch.
"Wait here do not move got it!" "Yes daddy."
The joker then grabbed the frosting and brought it back to the couch the sitting on her lower area.
"What are ya going to do?" "Whatever I feel like." Harley then giggled.
He then put some frosting on the top of her breast.
"Holy shit that's cold puddin!"
"I know." Do we have ice cream?" "I don't know?" "Ugh that's no help."
The joker then goes to the freezer and gets some ice cream.
"Puddin? What's that for?" "Thought we could have some fun." "Alright."
The joker then sat on her lower area and put ice cream all over her body.
"Holy mother fucker!"
The joker just laughed and started bouncing her.
"Ohhhh! More pudding!"
The joker then took off her sports bra to reveal her plump breast.
"God Harley,these never get old." The joker said while grabbing them.
"Ohhhh ugh!" Harley moaned. "Like that baby?" "Yes!" "How about we take this upstairs baby." "Yes please!"
As they where walking up the stairs a henchmen came down and Harley hid behind the joker.
"Ugh hi boss." "Get going!" "Yes sir."
"Always come at a bad time don't they Harley?" "Yes daddy." "Well let's go and have sex." "Oh yeah puddin."