Our Sweet Corruption

Chapter 6- Clouded Mind

The day after that dramatic night, the afternoon was quiet. Outside was a rainy gray where you could spot the fog clouding around outside. Lately, it rained a lot, raising the wind and lowering the temperature. Lilith often mentioned how the weather made people tired and gave them headaches. That much was true for Osta at least. He had constantly felt as though there was heavy pressure on his head and all he dreamed of doing was spending a whole long week sleeping. Chase, on the other hand, was not so sure about Osta's pain just coming from his head. Chase thought that his boyfriend's heart was also suffering from a heavy pressure. Much like Osta did, when his dad died, Chase wanted to comfort him in any way he could.

"Hey, baby, how are you feeling?" He asked Osta with innocent eyes.

Osta pinched the bridge of his nose right between his eyes "My head has been killing me today, I feel like someone is trying to squash it. I think it's all this rain that we've been getting lately, not to mention the temperature is constantly changing. I don't know if I should wear a sweater or not wear one or know when to even bring an umbrella." Osta said

"Well, we do live in Canada, plus global warming and all that doesn't help. In England when our family flies my mum, my step dad and I over, it's almost always raining." Chase said,

Osta smiled ever so slightly as he felt the warm strokes of Chase's hand running through his hair. It was something so small and yet it was one of the most relaxing things he had felt in a while. "Sometimes I wonder where I would be without you. Now that Lucca is going to go, I guess you're the only thing keeping me from breaking. You may be an idiot sometimes but I just don't think I'd be here without you." Osta spoke as though his mind was drifting into a pure bed of emotions that had just fallen into Chase's lap.

Chase was silent, waiting for Osta to just talk all night until the next morning. For once in his life, he was opening up instead of shutting everyone out. Chase was glad that he finally smashed the overbearing walls inside of Osta and at least he could finally hear how his partner really felt. It was obvious that most teenagers would shut people out and act as if they don't have a soul. Most would even go as far as to say to say that they are too broken to be fixed. But much like Osta, they did not understand that yes, they feel broken but years from now it won't matter. There is far more to life than what they currently live and they are only getting are a taste of what life is. The rebuilding of a person can happen if they are willing to try. If Chase could do it after his dad then he knew Osta could, but not without help.

"I feel like everything is spinning around me and I can't do anything about it," Osta said he went on for an hour about how he wished he could do more and how scary he felt the world was to grow up in. Thinking of the future was more than he could take but he didn't want his brother to feel the same pain.

Osta had talked so much that when he tried to get more words out his throat got too dry, and it hurt to speak.

Chase didn't say one word throughout the hour. Osta didn't so much need another person to speak to, as did need someone to listen to him. When he finished talking Chase looked at his small hand shaking and decided to speak.

"You're shaking dude, I want you to get your feelings out like this but I think we should take a break. You didn't eat that much today, right?"

Osta coughed after trying speak and then tried again "Honestly, I'm not really that hungry." He was right, he wasn't hungry... for anything. The pitiful drawback of his depression made Osta appear to not be interested in anything but sleeping and groaning whenever he was told he had to do something. The growl of his stomach suddenly didn't seem to matter much to him, it was almost as if he could no longer feel the pains of hunger. This was odd, Osta had been one to eat anything he could and had a big appetite similar to horses. Chase, however, was not so oblivious to this as Osta had thought he was. To him, he noticed even the smallest of changes and with Lilith having a meeting about Lucca's custody and Lucca going to school, Chase was about the only one there for Osta Hazzard. Like always, it's was practically the couple's daily job to worry about each other. The small things that led to Chase to realize how broken down his other half is what bugged him the most. The weary tired smile Osta fought to keep on his face when his brother was around, skipping school to sneak back in the house fall asleep or fake sickness' in order to go back home and curl up in what was now his and Chase's room. Chase was scared, maybe more scared than Osta. He didn't know how to help him get through his depression properly and like many, he isn't always the greatest with words. The difficult part was trying to tell Osta that he was worried about him, that he had not been acting like his regular self and Chase was afraid for his health.