What A Wonderful World

ii) Lost!

Just because I'm hurting . Doesn't mean I'm hurt . I just got lost . Every river that I tried to cross. Every door I ever tried was locked 

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Hook continued his walking down the empty street, now heading to the docks, because well, he was runnng out of rum and it's a way to dull the painful memories of Emma.

He staggered up the street, but as he passed over an uneven part of the sidewalk, his foot caught onto it, causing him to stumble forward onto his hands and knees. For a moment he stayed there, before scrambling up the little white fence that had shrubbery on it, and put all his weight into it. He clung there, slack jawed as he stared at the broken rum bottle on the ground,watching the little rum left in it dribble out. He was so lost in his mind, he didn't see Ruby drop the dishes she was carrying to come running out. She ran over to the pirate and stoppped just feet away from him because she knew very well of his violent bursts.

"Hook, are you ok?" Ruby asked tenatively inching closer.

"Yes, yes, 'm fine," Hook slurred, waving off the waitress while clutching onto the fence.But she knew better, she knew he was drunk out of his mind and that he was hurting.

"No, nuh uh, I'm going to walk you home. You might kill yourself trying to find your way back," Ruby said, finally sure that he was harmless so she walked toward the drunk pirate freely.

"No, no, 'm... I can ma' it," He reitterated as he struggled to stand up by himself,"Shouldn't you be at the party anyways?"

"Emma's party?" Ruby asked as she ran forward to catch him as he almost fell over. She wrapped her red coat around the both of them after she had hoisted his arm around her shoulder.

"Yes, lassss, thaaat be the onnnee," Hook drawled, but his lips curled up into a smirk,"You rather spend the time with me, eh?"

Ruby scoffed trying to stiffled her laugh,"No, that is not even close. I have to work tonight, so I couldn't go."

"Well, that's a bloody shame," Hook murmurs so low that Ruby doesn't catch it.

Instead she stopped walking and turned to look at him,"What happened?"

She had a look of curiousity, wonder but most prevalent was pity.

"What do you mean?" Hook grumbled, as they continued walking in the suddenly cool air.

"Yea, like what made you do this? Get like this?"  Ruby asked her voice soft and cautious, looking him up and down.

He tried to dodge the true question by quipping,"I'm a pirate, love. It shouldn't be too surprising."

"No, don't try to dance your way out of this one.You know what I'm getting at." Ruby said with authority, but her voice lowered again,"Why did you let her go?"

She was right, because Hook knew the entire time, which is why he didn't want her help in the first place because he knew it was going to lead to this.

"I loved her so I let her go," Hook whispered, his voice as dead as his eyes, but it didn't stop him from moving them forward since Ruby seemed bent on standing there.

Ruby stiffened, but relented quickly, not wanting him to hurt himself by walking by himself. She was quiet the rest of the cold walk, in fact the entire town was so quiet you could hear the whistling of the wind among the trees and the shuffling of their feet against the cement.

As they got closer to the Jolly Roger, Hook slowly started to seperate himself from the woman, testing to make sure he was stable. He was remotely sober because the fresh air and the long walk, but it was too sober. If there was anything he wanted to be right now was sober.

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were," Ruby whispered, more to herself than to Hook,"That's why you let her go."

Hook finally detached himself from Ruby and was walking up onto the ship before he looked back at her,"Aye. She didn't come back because she didn't love me."

"That's not true!" Ruby barked back quickly, because if she knew anything, it was that Emma was head over heels for Hook,"You should see the way she looks at you. Like there's nothing in the worl-"

"Stop!" Hook yelled, but lowered his voice,"stop. Just, don't."

Ruby stopped, her lips lightly parted, not sure what to say or if to say anything at all.

"Thank you, for helping me back," Hook murmured before turning away towards his cabin. Before he makes it to his cabin though, he looks at the main mast and sees the ropes laying there, reminding him of when Emma and her family first went to Neverland all together.

He remembered seeing Emma on the deck of his ship, after she had jumped over board and her father rescued her. Hook remembered seeing her unresponsive, panic swelled in his heart, as she wouldn't wake up. First Liam, then Milah, and now Emma. He didn't want another person he loved to die on his ship, which is why he didn't breath until she took her breath and was brought back. Gods did it kill him to think of another death on his beloved ship, the death of someone he loved.

Except now, another death tonight wouldn't be too bad. 

Would it would cure him of all his pain.

Or 

Would he only be more alone.

Should he try for the answer, Hook thought as he drawled over to the main mast and grabbed just enough rope and slung it over his shoulder. Then he turned and went into the cellar to get more rum, because rum is the answer when there is none. At least for right now.

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A/N: So the chapter is up earlier than I thought. Anyway, what do you think Hook is doing? Comment your thought and such below and don't forget to vote!