Untitled, By Unknown

16: New Record!

Writing time: 22nd- 24th November 2016

But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before? Oh, how am I gonna be an optimist about this? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?'- Pompeii, Bastille, Bad Blood, 2013. Now, this quote won't make much sense until the end. You might be able to work out some generic torment from the later lines, but I guarantee you'll have no idea about the first at the moment. You'll get it eventually, and if I do say so myself, I think it's a pretty funny choice. Also one that's sadly accurate.

Quick reversal in time. We're now back at Sunday. This chapter will go from here to Friday, with the predominant focus being at the start of the week. I will gloss over one very important event from the Thursday, as it's the kind of thing that both warrants its own chapter and would really kill the tone for this one.
Anyway, Sunday. The previous evening had been spent with the tall one, who was officially dating my first ex. The artist also joined us, and said when I asked who she'd vote for in the US election that she'd choose Jeremy Corbyn- she hadn't really been paying attention. I'd managed to finish my binge-watch of Luke Cage (ok, I was wrong. I've managed to connect a quote from one chapter to something in another again. But seriously, this is the last time), and was with the family downstairs. My grandparents were visiting for one of my parents' birthdays (you've got a 50/50 chance of guessing which one- well, technically a 33% chance if you include my dad, but I think you can work out it's quite unlikely that it's going to be him), and after a weekend of various visits to nearby exhibits we were settled down with the traditional family meal of pizza. At the time, I was midway through messaging a friend from my Law class, one who I'd known for years in secondary school and had worked with in the final drama exam. He was trans, and as far as I know confided in me first- or close enough to it. We'd also done the Duke of Edinburgh Award together, so I'd say we had a pretty strong bond. Trudging through fields for days on end will inevitably cause that.
Sorry, I'm getting distracted. But this guy needs an introduction. He was to become very important.

He'd contacted me first. Asking if we had Law homework. I'd said no. He then really altered the conversation by asking if I liked anyone. I of course said Him, and gave a description. I then returned the question, as is protocol. His answer?
"I do. But he won't like me back".
I questioned him again. His response was "Umm... someone."
At this point, I had my suspicions. I'd never been in this scenario before, but I could predict the outcome. He couldn't possibly mean me, could he? I persevered with the inquiries... and it turns out he did. After I'd just said I preferred someone else. Erm.
Now, here was the thing. I knew that the law friend liked me. I didn't know if He did. So, I could wait until I had the courage to ask as well as more information, or just go with the current choice. Did I like him? Well, no. But now the idea was in my head... maybe. I mean, I could like him. We were certainly compatible. The whole trans thing clearly wasn't an issue, otherwise my last relationship would have ended before it began. Which, to be fair, might have been a good thing. Although I kind of wanted to date someone, well, genetically male this time for... certain reasons (which sounds hopefully more creepy than transphobic- a particularly strange sentence, even for me). Obviously, he didn't fit that criteria. But I wasn't going to let that be the main factor that determined this. I valued the person rather than whatever came with them.
It reminded me of something we'd done in Economics called the 'Opportunity Cost'. This was basically the idea that each choice you make means you forego another. So in this case, if I chose to date one person, I'd lose the other. The problem was, should I think short or long term?
The logical thing to do here was take time to think about this. And I was a logical person. So naturally, that's what I did. I mean, why would I act irrationally here?
The conversation continued throughout the evening. We more or less avoided the topic, but it came up once or twice. I was still considering my answer.
The next day. We shared a class. The subject wasn't mentioned.
At break, I told the emo somebody had asked me out. She attempted to guess who. She said Him, then another bi guy we knew. I grinned at that- of course, she wasn't right, but it was funny to see where her mind had gone. Soon enough, she worked it out. I'd promised not to tell, but I kind of had to make an exception for her. Still, I instructed myself to restrict any further details.
That evening on the bus home, he messaged me again. By this point, I was almost certain. Just having some final doubts. At some point within the resumed dialogue, he made a self-decrepitating comment. I responded by telling him not to put himself down, and that he was an amazing person. I'm nice like that. Somehow, this was the catalyst. I decided to say yes.
I had a boyfriend again. Maybe I could be optimistic and presume this would go better than the last one.
(HA HA HA HA HA)
We chatted for the rest of the evening, both much happier than we'd been in a while. As always with my relationships, a multitude of emojis was traded as well as simple flirtatious comments. But they worked. After so many hours (about 5 so far), it hadn't crashed and burned. Good.