Twilight (Fresh Waters)

Chapter 13

EDWARDS POV

I can't believe it. Bella's left us. In the time we need her the most, she's left without any reason, or even a goodbye. I've been having to watch her in pain for the past few days, struggling to cope with Rise, but yesterday she seemed... Like she was worrying about something... As if she was hiding something... But I didn't really take notice. I put it down to her stress levels, her heartbreak for Nessie and her strain pouring over books for at least some advice. But now I know that she was stressing over what to do, the choice of leave or stay, but why!? She has been recently taking Nessie's side, but I know that deep inside she knows we're right. I know Bella, and she feels sorry for Nessie. I know she does. But would she just leave because of her own feelings, knowing that we're struggling? Bella isn't that selfish, right? It's upsetting me to think about it, and I'm laying in a heap, the corner of my bedroom. I know vampires can't cry, but I think it's the worst I can get. My eyes feel a somewhat stinging sensation, and I know there would be tears if it were possible. I miss Bella already, and I feel so alone. I know the rest of the Cullen's are with me, but Bella and I were always so private, able to share every last thought with each other, secretive or not. The event is draining my character from me, and I don't even feel like Edward Cullen anymore, but a pointless, dead body. I can't even read minds right now, although I haven't really tried. I hear a quiet knock on my door.

"Come in" I croak, not bothering to look up.

I tie the name Carlisle to the footsteps. He walks over and heaves himself onto the floor, next to me.

"Edward" He practically whispers.

I continue to tremble with my hands wrapped around my knees.

"Are you alright?" He says, softly.

I realise it's probably the most caring Carlisle has ever been. He's never really treated me like a son, although he fends for me and lives with me. We're always more like close friends. Maybe he generally thinks I can take care of myself, so I guess now he knows how I feel.

"No" I say strained, and then practically have a fit.

There are no tears, yet I shout out and bang my clenched fists against the floor. Why did Bella have to leave? Why!? It's so unfair. She can't just do this! Carlisle tries to steady me by quickly attempting to take hold of my hands.

"Edward, Edward!" He says, trying to calm me.

He realises that it's not going to work, and he's right. Nothing's going to calm me down until my Wife is back. I stand up.
"Carlisle, no!" I growl angrily, shaking in fury.

He stands up and faces me, close up.

"Sit. Down" He orders, sternly.

I take a few quick deep breaths, and then force myself back onto the floor, where I can't curl up I'm so upset. Carlisle calmly sits next to me. It's silent for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry" he finally says, quietly.

I look up at him.

"For what?" I croak.

He looks as if he knows what I'm thinking. It's Bella's fault, not his. No matter how much I love her, it's her fault, not Carlisle's.

"Look" He says, which I do. "I'm sorry that Bella ran away. I truly am. But Edward, what you can't do now is mellow. We need you, and we've already lost Bella. Not you too... Please."

I continue to look at him.

"But, I can't-" I can't find the words, and I begin to sob a bit again.