Carry Me Home // cake

fourteen

During the days following Luke's confession, many things started changing. He started taking longer shifts at work to ensure that he would get home only once Calum had left for work. By the time Calum got home, Luke would be asleep, effectively avoiding all communication with the brunet.

He knew that if he was to talk to Calum, it would just be awkward. He was trying his hardest to avoid that, even if it hurt him.

One night, about three weeks later, Luke got home and kicked off his shoes, making his way into the kitchen when he noticed something was up. With a slight frown, he made his way into their shared bedroom, opening the door to find it... Actually neat. Usually, Calum left his clothes strewn around on his side, covering his bed and the floor leading to his dresser.

Tonight, though, it was spotless. Luke tentatively made his way to Calum's dark blue dresser and opened the drawers to find practically nothing. For a moment, Luke was confused: Calum definitely had more clothes than that. What happened to all of them?

Then, Luke glanced around Calum's side. He realised, with a sinking feeling, that a lot of Calum's stuff was missing: from the dumb little figurines he had on his dresser to the jackets he hung up behind the room door. Luke stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room, then sunk down on the couch, sighing. Was Calum moving out? He knew he hadn't been the best roommate lately, but he didn't think it was a reason to move out....

He tried to go about his nightly routine, but he couldn't get the idea of Calum leaving out of his mind. This was his fault, it was his fault Calum felt the need to leave. He shouldn't have avoided him.

The thought kept him up as he tried to sleep, and to his dismay, he was wide awake when Calum slumped through the door. He sat up on his bed and clicked on the lamp beside him, causing Calum to jump a little in surprise.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," Calum apologised, pulling off his work shirt and tossing it off to the side.

Luke shook his head, biting at his lip. "No. I- Couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

"Are you moving out?"

Calum stopped in his tracks and looked over at Luke. "Um..."

"You are, aren't you?" Luke didn't realise how much it hurt until it was confirmed.

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

Calum sighed, sitting down on his own bed, and ran a hand through his hair. "There's a lot going on right now."

"Calum, just tell me. Are you moving out, or not?"

"I'm- I'm leaving."

Luke took a breath, and averted his gaze. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I can't stop you, can I?" Luke snapped, harsher than intended. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes but he hoped they wouldn't fall. "You've already moved out so much of your stuff."

"Luke..."

"Why don't you just leave already? You should've done it all in one go."

Luke listened as Calum sighed and got up, only lifting his eyes when he felt his bed dip. He met Calum's eyes, soft and warm.

"I don't- I don't want to leave, Luke, but I have to."

"Why?" Luke asked, his voice cracking. "Is it because I like you? Because I can forget it, I can get over it, I can-"

"No, Luke, it's not because of you."

"Then why?"

Calum then looked away, staring intently at the floor. "I just... It's because of who I am. I can't stay here."

"That sounds like a cop-out."

"I can't tell you, Luke. I really can't."

Luke scoffed, wiping at the few stray tears. "Okay, whatever."

"I swear, Luke, it's-"

"Save it."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Luke shook his head. "Isn't that ironic?"

"If I tell you why I'm leaving, I'll never be able to see you again."

At that, Luke looked at Calum, only to be met with sad brown eyes. "What do you mean?"

"That's what I mean. I'll never be able to see you again, at least, not that I can control."

"Calum..."

"I'm leaving to protect you," he stated firmly. "If i leave, I'll still be able to talk to you and be your friend. And angel."

But why?" Luke was simply confused. "Why can't you just stay?"

Calum was getting visibly frustrated. "Because if I do, it'll ruin everything."

"Isn't you leaving ruining everything already?"

"You don't know, and I hope you'll never know how bad it could be." Sadness and determination coexisted in his eyes and intimidated Luke, so he didn't try to fight it.

Instead, he slumped his shoulders and sighed, "Okay."

"Just know I'll always protect you," Calum murmured, wrapping his arms around the blond and holding him close. Luke held on tight, holding on to these last few moments he had before the brunet would be gone.

----

The space Calum left was so tangible that it caught Luke off guard. Their weekends spent watching stupid TV shows on the old couch. Rainy afternoons spent with guitars, singing All Time Low and Blink-182 songs. Those moments were all gone, and in a way, part of Luke was gone with them.

He and Calum texted sometimes, but weeks turned into months and life took over, leaving them to lead their own lives with little interaction.

Mia, taking notice of Luke's unhappiness, decided to invite him over for movies and dinner one weekend.

"I know you don't want to be here," she murmured as he took his shoes off at the door. "But thank you for coming."

He smiled at her, shaking his head. "It's okay, don't thank me. I needed to get out."

She smiled back, before pointing to a shelf beside her TV. "I have a bunch of movies, you can pick what you want to watch."

Luke wandered over to the shelf, then started looking over the titles. Some of them were familiar, others in a language he didn't recognise. He pulled out one of the foreign ones, and observed the three actors on the cover. They all had ridiculous poses: the girl on the left was probably the most normal, with a black outfit and one leg in the air behind her, giving her a more girly air than the girl on the right, with short brown hair, a baseball cap slightly askew and a basketball in her hand. The guy in between them was no better, with a flashy yellow jacket and sunglasses to match the sporty girl. Luke was rather amused, but mostly confused by the whole thing. "Hey Mia? What's this?" he asked, lifting the DVD so she could see it from her kitchenette.

Mia walked over to him, two glasses of Coke in her hands, and laughed. "Oh, that's a Bollywood movie! It's kinda dumb, but it's one of my favourites."

"What does the title mean?" Luke asked, pointing to the blue words on the top. He could read the letters, but the words made no sense to him.

"Hm..." She put the glasses down on the coffee table behind them. "Literally, it means 'something happens'. But it's- It's a love story, right, so this phrase kinda means... 'A little spark happens'. 'A little feeling'. It's how this guy," she pointed to the one on the cover, "explains how love, well, happens."

"Oh." Luke nodded, still pretty confused.

"There's no literal translation, so that didn't really make sense, but..."

"Can we watch it?"

Mia looked at her blond friend, laughed, then shrugged. "Well, why not."  

a/n: TODAY IS JAYA DAY BITCHES