A Selfish Moment

17 - MONDAY - Jubilee - 1:00 AM

"Ana Maria, calm down, please." I beg into the receiver as Sophie's mom begins to sob.

"What did the doctor say?" She asks in a thick Colombian accent. Ramon, Sophie's father, picks up another receiver and they listen as I lay out the details of the attack. Everett joins me at the kitchen counter and watches me as I wipe my tears. My eyes and nose are starting to feel raw from the rough paper towel. A tall glass of water appears in front of me.

"Is she awake?" Ana Maria asks nervously.

The image of Sophie in the ICU transforms into a vision of her body in a coffin. I gulp hard and rub my eyes, shaking my head in an attempt to rid myself of the morbid thoughts. "No. She hasn't woken up since the attack."

"And you left her there by herself?" she shouts at me and a mountain of guilt weighs down on my shoulders.

"I couldn't stay." I shout back. I take a deep breath before continuing softly. "She can't be exposed to germs. The doctor said I could see her for only five minutes. No one was allowed to stay with her."

Everett places a hand on the middle of my back and moves the glass of water closer. I take a huge drink and thank him. Ramon tells Ana Maria to call airlines from her cell phone to see what flights they can take tomorrow morning. She hangs up without saying another word and I feel a sting in my gut.

"Thank you Jubilee." Ramon says and releases a gulp so loud my heart sinks down to my stomach. He takes a deep breath and asks, "How is Aryana?"

I whimper, sniffle, and let out a nervous guffaw. "She's fine. She's asleep." Everett's palm must be burning from rubbing my back. He hands me another paper towel and I blow my nose again.

"Good. That's good." Ramon says calmly. "Will you be able to go to Sophie if-"

"Yes. The nurses will call me immediately if ... anything changes. The hospital is just five minutes away."

"Good, good." Ramon replies in a deeper tone. "Thank you."

When I hang up I wallow in a pool of guilt from Ana Maria's accusations. I replay the details of what the doctor said and close my eyes as I envision Sophie's lifeless body. Everett's hand remains in the middle of my back while my head rests over my arms on the counter.

"I can stay, in case the hospital calls, so you don't have to wake up Aryana." Everett whispers behind me.

Without thinking, I spin my stool around to face him. He stands less than a foot away, his eyes staring softly at me, searching for a way to help. When he places his hand on the right side of my face, I instantly dig my head into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. I need him. I need his strength. I want his comforting.

His arms slowly cradle my shoulders while his fingers pull strands of hair away from my face. I hear him exhale above me, and his heart beats against my temple.

I smile, thinking about what Sophie would say if she were conscious and watching me. She would have told me to jump Everett's bones, to show him that I could be just as naughty sober as I probably was Friday night. Even though the humiliation of my behavior yesterday morning is still fresh, it feels so unimportant now. I imagine her holding up sexy lingerie for me to put on for Everett.

"What are you smiling about?" Everett asks.

"Just thinking about Sophie," I say as I snuggle my head into the depths of his embrace. We stand there for a few minutes while my mind retraces everything that has happened this evening.

On the car ride from the hospital, I thought about the phone call I would have to make to Sophie's parents. I thought about how her mother and I would go through her apartment to decide what stays and what goes, assessing the value of each of Sophie's possessions and clearing them out as if she was never there. I thought about what I would say to Aryana, about why her Aunt Sophie would no longer be around to play dress-up and pile on a ton of makeup, to play queen of Queens as they do on those rare occasions when Sophie has nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon.