Alive

Finding Out

August

"She hiding sum shit and I know it."

I sat in the hotel room I was gonna be in for a while. She gotta know something. Come to think about it she was way too calm when the doctor was taking about it.

Moments later my phone lit up.

My🌍💖💍: I just wanna know if you're okay. Please answer me.

I wanted to answer back. But I couldn't give in just yet. I loved her with all of me plus more. But I can't give in.

My🌍💖💍: Aug! I know you see the text. Just let me know if you're okay or not. You don't have to say much just let me know.

Looking down at my phone I texted her back. Something light.

: good living.

I just know if I give in now imma wanna go back. And right now I can't. Ima just do me until she decides to talk. But as for her I'll just visit my kids and go bout my way.

-2Weeks Later-

"Cha I don't wanna talk bout shit. I know she's hiding something." I calmly said into the phone.

"Yea I miss my girls. But...." I sat on the phone and was listening to Cha grill me.

"Man you talk to her. But as for me I ain't got shit to say. I still love her don't get me wrong but one thing we agreed on was not to hid shit. And I feel like she's hiding something. I love her too much to let her go this easy. But until she can holla at a nigga ion wanna hear shit. Dats it." I hung up the phone.

For once out of these 2 weeks I feel like shit. I miss sleeping and being with my babies. I know Lani misses me I miss her like hell too.

Cha had invited me to her house for a dinner she was having for Kayden's 7th birthday. I had to be there. Knowing Lani was there my plan was to just worry about my girls and Kayden. If she decided to woman up and tell me what's really on her mind a nigga is willing to listen. I just want her to be honest with me. Is that too much to ask ?

"YEA THEY HATING BUT THEY BROKE THO AND WHEN ITS TIME TO POP THEY A SHADOW!!"

I sat in the living room listening to Kayden song all the wrong words.

"Kaybear you know them the wrong words." I chuckled.

"Uhuh no it ain't. I wrote her song Fa her. Like that boy do drake. I told her not to curse but she don't listen." Looking at me seriously she walked over to me.

"Chris brown should have let me write Wrist cause I would have added my name in it."

She went back to playing with her friends. Moments later I see Lani and Cha coming down stairs with my girls.

"Aye daddy babies." Reaching for Morgan me and Lani made eye contact.

The love is still there. Still strong.

"Aug can I..." I quickly stopped her.

"Just gimmie a hug." I felt her light sobs on my chest. "Mamas calm down. We gon talk after the party. But right na let's enjoy this time with family."

---

Kehlani

I honestly don't know how long I could keep something like this inside. But I feel  me telling him this will be so hurtful, but then again Aug is so understanding. It sounds weird but it's all happening all over again. My biggest problem is how to tell him.