What I Found

Freshman Year?

It's Friday and you know there's a movie night going on tonight at the school.

You're going with the girls and you can't wait to cuddle with Camila. You grab blankets and stuff them into the pack you also decided to stuff with some snacks for you and the girls to share.

The doorbell rings and you rush to answer it.

"I GOT IT PAPA!"

Michael chuckles and continues to watch his Heat game while you open the door to allow the girls in. Once your beaming smile hits the other side its just Camila, not that you're complaining, but you had planned on having girls time. You all were.

"Hi Camz, where are the other girls?"

She seems a little hurt by your question but answers as happily as usual.

"Oh they all had family business to attend to so it's just you and me tonight."

You let her in and shut the door but your eyes never leave her body. She's definitely filling out in all the right places. Her baby face is still really cute and her bangs are back. Her bow obsession is still going strong. Her hips have gotten wider and her butt filled out quite significantly. You can't help but stare.

She heads up to your room and your dad laughs.

"PAPA!"

You run up after her, blushing at the fact you blatantly stared at your best friend.

You shut the door behind you and lay on the bed next to Camila. You smile at her and she smiles at you. You feel your heart race and this is what love is in its purist form to you.

What you can't feel is Camila's heart racing even faster than yours. She's liked you for quite some time now but doesn't know how you feel about her so she looks at you in secret and just hopes you share her feelings.

You both laugh and notice time had passed significantly which means you should head to the school.

Once at the library you sit on the couch in the back not caring if you can see the movie or not. The blankets are draped over the both of you and the way your seated couldn't be more comfortable. Camila laid between your legs and her hands placed your arms around her. You can feel her fingers running up and down your arms and you get chills.

You can smell the coconut shampoo she used and you smile. Camila always smelled like Cuba and Miami and home and love and everything in between. Camila was perfect.

"I love you Camz."

You made her heart flutter but you didn't know. She interlocked her fingers with yours and kissed your hand. Her head fell into the crook of your neck and she whispered to you.

"I love you too Lolo."

You watch the rest of the movie and like the old westerns it all fades to black.

An open window in West Miami, Coconut Grove reveals itself to a messy room and an eighteen year old Camila Cabello. She hasn't been the same since the accident and she'll never forgive herself for it.

She moved out here for a reason and her parents paid for her to live there. If the could keep their mija safe, happy and healthy they'd do anything for her.

Camila sat in her room staring at the letter given to her by her true love. The confession was beautiful and she didn't know how to fix it. She desperately needs to fix this.

She puts on the black softball hoodie faded from hundreds of washings but the last name was still so easy to make out.

Jauregui.

She was able to get Ally on the phone who allowed her into the small apartment where she sat familiarizing herself with the place.

"Before any of you three ask I came to see how she is. I-"

"DAMNIT LEAVE"

She heard Lauren sob from the room. The dream must've ended now.

"It's my turn tonight I'll be back."

Normani leaves the table sadly to go check in Lauren and Camila followed her to the door. She looked in. Grey walls plastered with posters. A vinyl record player. Black curtains. A picture frame on her desk.

Camila gasped and choked back on her tears.

It was that day. Well not that day exactly but it was that day. She knew it was. She wanted to puke.

She ran back out saying she was sorry to Dinah and Ally on the way out. She walked all the way back home.

For the first time she's put it on, she took it off. She put the necklace on the night stand and looked at the identical picture frame on her desk.

It held two girls both wearing necklaces. One dawned a sun, the other a moon. It was a birthday party. A happy day. A unicorn and dragon stuffed animal could be seen peaking up in the corner of the frame and Camila started to cry.

The memories hit her hard and now it felt like a nightmare.

//

I think I'm losing you.