Chapter 2
“Wow . . . this place . . . “I don’t even know how to describe the hotel my cheap sponsor had booked for Delilah and I.
“It sucks . . .” Dee filled in for me. “This place sucks so much I can’t even put it into words.” I could tell she was mad because on the paper Mr. Sponsor gave me it said we were going to stay at a 4 star hotel.
“Yeah,” I said in defeat, but LeeLee wasn’t rolling over in defeat like me.
“Oh my God! I can’t even believe this! What the hell is Sponsor thinking? I want to stab in in the throat with a spoon until it is super tender and then switch to a fork until there are four small holes in his neck that ooze blood. I will continue to do this until he has thousands of those small oozing holes on his neck and he knows not to mess with this bitch again.” She motioned to her chest at the last words.
“Oh . . . deep. That is not something I will put in my diary tonight. Diary already doesn’t like you and he will get really scared.” I said my thoughts aloud, this earned me a worried look for Dee, and I don’t think she knew Diary didn’t like her. “But yeah, I agree. I’ll call Sponsor.” She nodded at my last words but I think she was still concerned about what I had deemed “The Diary Debacle”. At her nod I went to my contacts and searched: Sponsor
“Yellow!” he shouted in my ear.
“I would tell you I hated you if you weren’t paying for me to be in the Olympics.” I told him honestly.
“Sugar Plum! Why would you ever say that?” his annoying voice rang in my ears, using the nickname I think he gave me because he didn’t remember my name.
“Because you yell in my ears, call me ‘Sugar Plum’, and claim that you are going to rent me a 4 star room, but then you get a moldy and shitty room!” I began to hypocritically yell, “You ass! What the Hell were you thinking; we wouldn’t mind having a cheaper room. As long as it wasn’t this shitty, but why the fuck would you lie to us and say we would get a 4 star room?” at my outburst, Delilah gave me a thumbs up to signal that she agreed.
“Wat?” he said, attempting to sound like a koolkat. Well do I have news for him! I am part of the KKK (Kool Kat Klub) and he will never be! Sponsor-the-ass is an ass and a totally non-Kool ass at that!
“I will stab you in the pelvis with a fork and then put you in a huge, yet narrow tank that has a connected lid and slowly fills up with water.” I threatened.
“You know,” Lee cut in, “Threatening to kill you sponsor is probably not a good idea.” She advised. This caused me to think to myself: That bitch!
“Just fix the room you god-damned idiot!” I yelled to Sponsor. I was about to hang up but he started to talk and I realized after all those threats I should at least respect him enough to hear what he says and then talk about him behind his back with Dee.
“Okay, I will get you a better room, BUT you have to find a way to pay for something else because I really don’t have a lot of money. The cheapest thing on here,” I assume he looked at a list when he spaced out for a few seconds. “The cheapest thing on here is ‘allowance’ which is the money I gave you for things like souvenirs and clothes. So you should get a job or something to pay for that.” The Devil (Sponsor) explained to me.
