Chapter 5
“DELILAH! I HAD THE SCARIEST DREAM EVVVVEEERRRRRR ON THE BUS RIDE HOME!’ I yelled as I got onto my hotel room. Room. Rome. Those are almost the same!
This is why nobody likes you. You do stuff like that!
“Cathy, I’m warning you, if you don’t shut up I am going to kill you.” I said it like a spy, quietly in a whisper because Dee didn’t know about Cathy.
“I’m more worried about you going on the bus. Don’t you not know how to pay them?” she asked because I have a history of not paying bus drivers by accident.
“FUCK! I forgot to pay!” my voice was loud, the door was open. There was an old lady outside the door. I was super scardie because old people are creepy, but she just nodded at me in an approving way. It was just another thing that supported my theory, old people are people too.
Obviously they’re people too! You literally just called them people!
“I’m tired of you and your ‘smart’ comments Cathy. As soon as I find out how then I will kill you!” I forgot to whisper that time and lemme just say “whoa” to how loud that was. On a scale of one to ten the loudness of my voice was like a howling dog. Like “whoa”.
You are the stupidest person I know. Cathy remarked. I thought back that she must not know anybody who went to my high school if she thought I was the stupidest person she had met, and because she only knew Dee from my HS she didn’t have much to say. Because of her moment of silence I quickly put her out of my mind to focus on Dee’s voice in the other room as I hung up my jacket and gym bag.
“Who are you talking to?” she asked me and then she asked again, quieter, “Do you know who she’s talking to?” there was some muttering following that question.
“It was just some old lady in the hall . . .” I improvise because I can’t tell people about Cathy, I don’t know why but it just seems like other people won’t accept her like I did. “Who’re you talking to?” I mimicked into the main room as I grabbed a snack from the mini kitchen. Acting like I wanted to join them, but really wondering if I wanted to leave before they got “down n’ dirty” with each other.
“Those guys you let into our apartment at 2 in the fucking morning, Louie Tomlinson and Zayn Malik. I must say I applaud your choice of people to let in.” she said in a weirdly sophisticated way, who says that they applaud things?
“Well I try? Does that even make sense? Anyway are you going to have sex with them or can I stay at the hotel?” I ask rather bluntly, I hate being in the same place with her when she has sex.
“Oh my god why would you ask that?” Sexy Voice asks.
“Well I don’t want to be here if you do it. I don’t understand why you seem so appalled. I’ll bet you’re one of those snobby rich British guys!” at this I walk into the room to find the strangers from earlier this morning. As I thought before, Sexy Voice Guy had stupid hair, but he also had tattoos and dark skin. So many defining characteristics. Like . . . wow. Anyway Idiot (the one who had fallen on the floor drunk) had brown hair and ummmm tan skin? He doesn’t have as many defining characteristics. I frown at him purely for this reason. “Why don’t you have more defining characteristics? Diary will be pretty pissed if I can’t tell him about what’s going on in my life. Bitch!” with that all three of them share a very confused look. I sigh because it seems like I’m the only one participating in this conversation. “SPEAK! Or is this another defining characteristic? Brown Hair is mute!” I call him Brown Hair because it is rude to call the disabled idiots. Brown Hair rolls his eyes and opens his mouth,
