Girl Meets Second Chances

Eleven

"The dragonfly is a pretty fierce predator," Farkle says, leading the group up the trail. "Like this one, the Eastern Pondhawk, it can swoop down on its prey with agility like a hawk, hence the name."

"That's pretty amazing Farkle," Riley says, smiling at him, her head tilting to the side the way it sometimes does. Riley isn't the biggest fan of bugs but seeing Farkle talk about something he's so passionate about has a way of making her light up. Zay and Lucas on the other hand, barely have it in them to pretend to be interested, mumbling out a half-hearted "cool" in response. Farkle doesn't seem to care, as long as Riley is listening, and continues on about some other insect that has caught his eye.

Maya is no more interested in Farkle's impromptu science lesson than Zay and Lucas are but she doesn't mind it. It's a welcomed distraction. She trails behind the group, taking in the way the sunlight trickles through the leaves and how the birds' singsong chirping floats down to her from the trees. It's a lot warmer than a usual day in March but it's perfect for a day at the lake. Riley even packed the group some sandwiches and a few snacks in her backpack. Maya feels a twinge of guilt when she thinks of how Josh had watched them getting ready for their hike. Even though he was an unexpected addition to this trip he still deserves to enjoy it. She hates that they left him behind and promises herself that next time she'll try to make him feel like a part of the group.

When they finally reach the lake, Riley runs ahead to get a closer look at a flock of ducks that are coming in for a landing while Farkle and Zay walk along the edge skipping stones. Maya hangs back, in awe of how the mountains reflect perfectly on the water's surface. She makes a mental note to come back with her sketchbook.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

She looks over at Lucas, expecting him to be taking in the view but instead he's looking at her. His eyes stay on her a second before both of them turn back to the lake.

"It really is," she breathes out. She isn't sure if it's the view or the comfort of him standing beside her but it's the most relaxed she's felt all day. She sinks down to a nearby rock, scooting over so that he can join her. They have to sit close so they can both fit and they naturally lean into each other.

"So, I wanted to ask you earlier," he says, "But did everything go okay at the hospital? You were a little quiet when you got here."

She thinks about it for a moment.

"Besides having to see my father with his new family and the whole my sister having cancer thing I'd say it went okay," she says. It's a bad attempt at lightening the mood and Lucas' worried expression tells her that her joke is a poor one.

"Maya, are you okay?"

She turns away from him, turning her attention to their friends instead. She's been asked that question a lot lately but she doesn't have the right answer. She hates saying yes because really she isn't okay. She hates saying no even more because what right does she have to feel this way when Sophie is the one laying in a hospital bed.

"Looks like Riley's feeding our sandwiches to the ducks."

"Maya..."

"Those were turkey sandwiches and now those poor ducks are cannibals."

"Maya," he says a little firmer and she sighs.

"What Lucas? What do you want me to say? That I'm not okay? Well I'm not. I feel like everyone's counting on me and there's a good chance that I could let them all down."

A lot of thoughts have crossed her mind over the past two weeks but this one is a constant. It's always there but especially today, especially after her visit to the hospital.