Muslimah to true Muslimah [On Hold]

Chapter-38 "Marriage Cancel"

Abu Hurairah narrated that:
The Prophet said: “A matron should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought, and her silence is her permission.” 

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi Volume 2, Book 6, Hadith 1107)

Chapter-38

Marriage "Cancel"

Zain's POV :

Its been three weeks from that accident, and Allhumdulillah everything is sorted out..
Everyone is very happy because I said yes for marriage and they are preparing for engagement and I am cursing and regretting then moment when I said yes , without even seeing the pic..
Its not that she is not a good girl, but I don't find myself potent enough asher husband, so strange why?? Days back I thought she was the worst ever girl, 'Astagfirullah.." But now I find faults in me...

I don't know why am I feeling this but its kind of strange , ' I can't see anybody marrying and and don't either want to marry her.. ' Ya Allah what is this feeling , ?? Why is this feeling?? This marriage thing is so difficult for me..

"Are you in your senses.. ?? " someone hit me on my back yelling this, and I turned around to find Sheath and signed in relief.. I was in my office , thinking of the martial topic instead of my work..

"Assalamualaijum.. Bro,, are you really present in this world or somewhere else?? I was knocking the door from five minute , before thing in like an I'll mannered person.. " Sheath said in a go without a stop..

"Was alaikumassalam.. I was just engrossed in the work.. " I justified myself.. But he looked at my switched off laptop and a useless file, then his eyes went to the direction of my mobile phone ., and he raised his brow, I quickly grabbed it from the table and hid it back..

"What are you hiding in that?? " he questioned suspiciously..

" Na.. Na.. Nothing.. " I stammered a bit because knew I was lying.,,

Then he jumped on me trying to snatch my phone away from my grip.. And we both involved ourselves in child's play.. And finally he snatched away phone from me and unlock the screen…

" Hmmm.. Interesting.. " he commented seeing the pic I was seeing, which was of Aaisha at Mahira's wedding.. I was not actually seeing the pic, but I was thinking how bad I thought about her that time..

"I., was.. " I tried to justify , but he cut me off, to mention his philosophies..

"It happens man I know., even I have been through this phase.. " he spoke,as if he knows everything, he was seeing the screen so intently that it made me pissed off..

"Now why are you seeing the pic,  isn't it haraam.. " I said in an super irritated tone, which was not at all usual..

He turned mobile screen to me , he changed the pic to Mahira's .. Uff.. This love sick man..

"Is it haraam for me to see my darling wife's pic?? And why were you so pissed off.. Wasn't it even haraam for you too to see Aaisha's pic, even keep in your  mobile.. ?? " he shot back..

And I couldn't do anything but to admire the floor, which suddenly became 'worlds most beautiful thing.' My cheeks were burning due to embarrassment in front of my bestie as well as brother in law..

"Oh ! My Allah.. Ya Allah.. Ya Allah.. This day came.. Ya Allah Shukra Allhimdulillah.. Ya Maula.. " he was doing as if something so big has happened and I was standing there clueless..