Last Love | Book 3

Chapter 27

(Jennifer)

Snowflakes start to fall on the ground outside, as I turn over on my side to look out the window. As January's been slowly coming to an end it's been snowing more and more frequently. Josh places a hand on my hip and I smile down at his hand. I love waking up next to him every morning. I sit up to tell him good morning and I instantly realize something's wrong. I immediately shove his hand off me and jump out of bed, running as fast as I can to the bathroom. I make it just in time to throw up all the contents of my stomach into the toilet. How can I be sick again? I just got over the flu a few weeks ago. Josh runs into the bathroom and sits down beside me. He holds my hair back as I throw up over and over again, until I finally stop. "Are you okay?" Josh asks, handing me some toilet paper. I wipe my mouth off with it and throw it in the toilet. "No. I can't believe I'm sick again." I whine, leaning up against him. "I know. It sucks. Do you want me to take the kids over to my mom's for a while so you can get some rest? It's Sunday, she won't be doing anything." He offers, his hand rubbing small circles on my back. "Yes, please." I nod, then lean my head against his shoulder again. "Okay. I'll go get them ready to leave. You go lay down and I'll bring you some medicine and soup." He says, giving me a kiss on the cheek, then standing up. "Thanks, Joshy." I walk back to our bedroom and lay back down.

I turn on the tv after Josh leaves with the kids and watch it as I eat my soup. It's strange. I didn't even take my medicine and I already feel better. Maybe I just ate something bad last night. When I've finished my soup I decide to get out of bed and take a shower. I get my clothes picked out for the day and grab a towel from the bathroom cabinet. Then I hop in the shower. The hot water soothes my muscles, and I try to stay under the water as long as possible, but eventually the water goes cold and the hot water runs out. I get out, dry myself off, and start to get dressed. When I go to put my bra on I notice that it feels like it's tighter around my chest. "Fuck. Ow." I mumble, when I try to hook the back. My breasts feel extremely sore from the pressure of the bra, so I take it off and put my shirt on in it's place. I must be getting close to being on my period. It seems like it's been a month since my last one. I finish getting dressed, then check the calendar on my phone. It's the last month of January already? That can't be right. That would mean my period's two weeks late. I have to hold onto the counter to steady myself as I realize what that must mean. I fast walk to my bedroom, throw on some socks and shoes, and run down the stairs. I grab my keys, wallet, and purse off the counter and run out to my car. The snow makes it difficult, but I run to my car as quickly as possible and drive to the closest gas station. I pick up every single pregnancy test they have and purchase them all. Then I drive back home as fast as possible. I'm barely able to focus on the road the whole drive home. My minds racing from the possibilities and my heart's beating loudly in my chest.

As soon as I get inside I run straight to the bathroom, not stopping for anything. I have to know now. I open the first box and take the first test, then the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth. I set them all out on the counter to wait and set a timer on my phone. I wait and wait, and it seems like it's been forever. I take a deep breath, then look at the row of pregnancy tests I have displayed on my bathroom counter. All of them show positive. I'm pregnant.

Out of all the things I expected to happen this new year this isn't one of them. The realization hits me hard, and I curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor. This can't be real. I mean, sure Josh and I have had sex plenty of times in the past month and a half, but I'm on birth control, and we've used protection every time. Why did this have to happen to me? I feel tears start to drip down my cheeks onto my lips and I wipe them away. I'm not ready for this kind of change. I don't want to be pregnant again. I'm not prepared to give birth again. I can't go through all of this again. Tears keep coming and this time, I don't try to stop them. I just let myself cry, until the tears stop flowing. Then I dry my face off, blow my nose, and clean up the bathroom. I remove the evidence from the bathroom, making sure all the pregnancy tests are concealed in a trash bag, then take the bag outside. I hear a car outside and the sound makes my heart jump. I check out the window, but it's not Josh, but soon it will be. I burst into sobs again, this time carefully guiding myself to the couch. I'm going to have to calm down. I have to tell Josh, right? It takes all the strength I have to pull myself together, but I do it. I stop crying, dry my tears, ready myself by the door, and wait for Josh to get home.

When he walks inside and sees me, he smiles. "Hey." He greets me, setting Ava down on the couch. I glance over at her sleeping body. "Hey." I finally reply. "Are you feeling better, now?" He asks. "Mhm." I nod, fake smiling. "Good." He smiles at me, not suspecting a thing. I wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his neck. How am I going to tell him?

A/N: Hey look I'm actually updating reasonably often