It's Just Me

Taking everything into consideration...

I really am an idiot. I haven't been drinking that much for years, I knew I was going to be sick in the morning, but I did it anyway. On top of getting completely shitfaced, I also decided it would be really great to have a chat with Stevie. What was I expecting? That she'd want my drunk ass to come over? 

When I can't stand the horrible headache anymore, I manage to sit up in bed, as I stretch some, before getting out. I go to the bathroom for a hot shower, before I can start thinking about the day ahead of me. Actually, what's there to think about? I suppose it's time I stopped pestering Stevie. Clearly, she wants nothing to do with me. Besides that, Christian is obviously back in the picture. I might have embarrassed myself enough already.

Feeling refreshed, I reenter the bedroom, with a towel around my waist for a set of clean clothes. At the same time, I try to remember how the hell did I get back home? I know for sure, I didn't drive myself. I see my car parked in the driveway, once I get downstairs, but I have no recollection of how the night ended at all. Oh well, as long as I got home in one piece.

As I'm making myself a cup of much needed coffee, I can't help but think of the short conversation Stevie and I had last night. She sounded far from happy to hear from me, she also said, it's clear where we stand with each other. What does that mean exactly? Something tells me, this time she's serious, that whatever that still might have happened between us, now never will.

While I try to enjoy my drink, my phone starts ringing and of course my hearts begins beating a little faster, though, I know there's no chance it's Stevie. Finally locating my phone, I pick it up and frown. Who the hell is Olivia?

"Hello?"

"Hi, I hope it's not too early."

"Uh, I guess not."

"So, are we still meeting for coffee then?" 

I'm getting more confused than I was, before answering. "I'm sorry, but who is this?"

"Olivia. Is this Lindsey?"

"It's me yeah."

"We met yesterday, you don't remember? You were pretty out of it, by the end of the night, but you insisted on me adding my number to your phone. You told me to call you in the morning, so we could see each other."

Holy hell. I run a hand through my unruly hair, trying to come up with an answer. "I must seem like a real asshole right now."

"Well, to be honest, I'm not surprised. But it's okay." She adds and actually sounds genuine. "So, would you like to meet up?"

What have I got to lose, right?  "Okay, sure."

We agree to see each other at a place we both know in an hour. To be honest, I truly don't remember her, I can't picture her face no matter how hard I try. I know I've talked to several people, but which one was she? 

Is this a date?, I can't help but think, when I'm already on my way. Is this just a cup of coffee and a start of a friendship? Which one do I need more? Probably a friend, but it wouldn't hurt to have someone by my side either... The hell am I thinking about? For all I know, she might be married.

Entering the cafe, I subtly look around and I instantly see a woman waving me to come over. I smile slightly, approaching her, before sitting down. "Hey." She greets me and I say hello to her.

Hm... She looks to be younger than me. Not much, I don't think. In her fifties maybe. She's got dark, shoulder length hair, wearing light make up, dressed very casually. She looks, well, normal. 

"I didn't know your preference." She mentions the coffee.

"I had a cup not too long ago. I'm fine." I say and just get a glass of water instead. "I'm really sorry about the phone call. I'm not used to drinking much anymore, so I hardly remember anything of last night."

"It's alright. I'm glad you agreed to meet me today."

I glance at her left hand and I don't see a ring, so no, she's not married. "Did you drive me home, by any chance?"

"I did." Olivia nods, then chuckles slightly. "It's as if last night didn't happen for you, huh?"

"Basically." I say and laugh lightly too. "I hope I didn't embarrass myself?"

"Well... let's see. You persistently tried to contact your ex. And at some point you succeeded. I returned from the restroom and you were begging her not to hang up on you, but she did."

"Oh, Jesus Christ..." I shake my head, sighing. "What a great first impression!"

"You talked quite a lot about her. It seemed like you needed to pour your heart out."

"Right, but maybe not to a complete stranger." I sip from my glass of water, diverting my eyes. "Did I at least ask something about you?"

"You did, don't worry. Although, I guess, everything would sound new to you today." She chuckles again and I sense myself smiling. It's been a while, since I've felt at ease, talking to someone, rather than be all tense, trying not to say the wrong thing.

We chat for another thirty minutes maybe, until Olivia says she has some other places to be. We agree to stay in touch, before parting ways and I feel... I don't know, maybe excited? At least, this past hour or so, I didn't think of Stevie. That's a step forward, I think.

When I return home, I find myself to be unable to sit still. I wander from one room to another, I fidget with things, without doing anything really. And I know why. Stevie's words ring in my head and I can't ignore them. Taking my phone out of my back pocket, I scroll through the contacts, stopping by Mick's name. He answers shortly. 

"Lindsey, it's good to hear from you!" This man is always excited. 

"Hey, Mick. I wouldn't be so sure about that. I'm calling you about something serious. I've been in contact with Stevie for like the past week or so, and... well, taking everything she's said and done, I think we shouldn't wait for her. I think, we should go ahead with recording the album as a four piece."