Ghost of a Girl

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

On Monday morning I carefully combed my hair until it was sleek and shiny. I put on a short skirt and tight t-shirt and slipped on my new pair of ballet flats. I glanced at the mirror and saw my dead friend in the reflection, but that didn't stop me. There was no going back now that I'd crossed the line.

I entered the school fully expecting dirty looks and whispers behind hands when I walked down the hall. I had a made a fool of myself at Luke's party. That was not what I found though on that super sunny day. I received warm smiles, and high fives, and a few flirty winks from boys who would've never looked at me before. Not that I cared about that much.

Jenna and Paige greeted me with hearty hugs at my locker.

"Did you get my text?" Paige asked.

"I did. I just ah, was busy."

"That's okay. It doesn't matter." She waved her hand.

"I'm ah sorry for how I behaved at Luke's party. I hope you weren't too embarrassed."

Paige frowned. "What? The party was epic. Everyone's talking about it."

"You were so much fun. Surprisingly." Jenna beamed at her. "Haven never really drank. And she didn't really like it when we did. So, having you around is so much better."

"Jenna?!" Paige frowned.

"What? I'm sorry, okay? It's just that Haven is dead, and we need to move on. That's what my therapist keeps telling me. To move on. It's the healthy thing to do." She grabbed onto my arm. "So that's what I'm doing."

For the rest of the day, I just got swept along. I walked the halls with Jenna and Paige like we owned it. I sat in my classes and smiled at everyone, ignoring the fact that my cheeks hurt and that I wanted to dig the tip of my pencil into the palm of my hand.

When I was in Mr. Craig's math class, I laughed with the rest of the class at his inane jokes and when he handed back test papers I didn't appear surprised at my good mark even though I hadn't even answered some of the long answer questions. I just looked up at his beaming face and gave him a satisfied nod of my head. This seemed to please him because he almost had a jaunty bounce in his step when he returned to the blackboard to start the next lesson.

As he scribbled equations on the board, I had to refrain from throwing my textbook at him. I wanted to scream, "How dare you give me extra marks for being popular!" It was no wonder Haven had been on the honor roll. Because I knew for a fact that my friend didn't do much homework and hadn't studied for her tests despite all the 'studying' we had done together at night. It had all been a farce.

At lunch, I sat with my friends, Luke and others at our table on the quad and tried to maintain a façade of interest. Especially as Luke was telling a story about the time he and a couple of his buddies drank a case of beer then drove down to the lake and went boating. Everyone laughed at the punchline. When I didn't, everyone looked at me expectantly. I glanced at the others, then smiled. Then laughed. Really hard. This made everyone laugh again, and Luke threw his arm around my shoulders. I let him pretend we were a thing, an item. I congratulated myself for not bending over and vomiting on the grass.

After school was cheerleading practice. I squeezed into the uniform, unconcerned with the flesh rolling out from under the shirt and over the band of the skirt. I lined up with my fellow cheer sisters and followed Paige's lead with mind numbing sameness. I didn't hit all my marks, and I didn't kick my leg as high, and my arms were soggy like wet noodles most of the time, but I went along with it. A quiet numbness cocooned me as I went through the motions of being whom everyone wanted me to be.