I'd been in labour for the past 4 hours and I was already 10cm dilated and was ready to push any second. The midwife was keeping a close eye on me as I was just over a month early and I had such a fast labour. I was absolutely roasting hot and had sweat running down my face. I never thought labour would be this hard if I'm honest. I finally got the urge to push. The midwife was ordering me instructions however I'd sort of blocked out her voice by now. I was crushing Jordans hand, with every push his hand became redder and redder. My mum was patting my forehead with a damp cloth, soothing me and whispering to me words of encouragement. 'Keep pushing, the head is crowning' the midwife said. I had no idea what that meant but I was determined to get this baby out. I was trying not to scream, unlike those programs you watch where you can hear the women from down the corridor. Some how I'd lost track of time and I pushed one final time and I heard screams. The cry of a newborn baby. I sighed in relief, trying to slow down my breathing as I was handed my daughter. Tears flowed down my face, as she cried alongside my mum and Jordan. I felt overwhelmed with love in that moment. My mum was taking pictures, of course, and then the midwife took her off me so she could get weighed and have all the other checks done. I was still thinking about her name, I had two in mind but I think I'd chosen when I saw her face. I was allowed to go for a shower, as my afterbirth had come out. My mum helped me as I was in a lot of pain, but I wanted to freshen up. I had a soothing shower and then I changed into some comfy underwear and a nursing bra and then put an oversized shirt on and pyjama bottoms. I scraped my brown hair into a bun and then wiped off my remaining makeup. Jordan had been spending time with her while I freshened myself up. I got back into the bed and Jordan handed me a clean-ish baby, wearing a pink hat and wrapped in a soft pink blanket. I admired her tiny features, her nose, her mouth, her fingers. Her eyes were glued shut so I couldn't tell what colour they were. I had her pressed against my skin, my warmth heating her up. I grabbed my phone and took a snapchat of her and put the '🎀🎀🎀' emojis and then posted it too my story. I scrolled through Instagram and Facebook and she then began to stir. I calmed her, rocking her and soothing her. I decided to change her into some clothes, fearing that she might become cold. I picked out a white vest and then a white all in one suit with small flowers on. I kept her hat on as it looked cute. I took some photos of her and then decided to post one on Instagram. I posted a photo of her hand wrapped around my finger and captioned it 'hello world👶🏼🙈🌸🍼💗'. I immediately was swarmed with comments so I tried to reply however the midwife came in and ushered me to feed her. I undid my nursing bra and then slipped on a hoodie to stop me getting cold and I began trying to latch her on to feed. It was hard. I couldn't do it at first but then I got the hang of it and so did she so it was ok. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, because it did, a lot. She finally finished and the midwife showed me how to wind her and then I waited for any spit up. After about 10 minutes she was done being winded and had fallen back to sleep again so I placed her in the small plastic cot the hospital provide. She had one of those identity cards in her cot and I couldn't help staring at the blank name section. "Jordan, Jordan" I woke him from his sleep. "Yes babe" he replied tiredly. "We have to think of a name for her" We began discussing names and then we decided on one. When the midwife came back in about 3 hours later we told her, and she wrote it on the card; 'Baby Harper-Grace Olivia Gray'.
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