Undercover

Maybe I miss him.

((BEFORE I START: I'm sorry I haven't updated in over a month XD yikes right? I've been in a slump and haven't really been able to write anything I'm proud of but Ima try for this story))
Levi's P.O.V

He's not there. He's not there. He's not there.

My heart is racing and time is slowing down I can hardly focus on what's around me; the music is just loud enough I can feel the beat run through my body as I panic looking for Eren. He's gone. This can't be happening I can't lose him...I can't let him go.

Finally, after thirty minutes of looking, I start making my way out of the crowd and moved to the door I couldn't just stay here, I wouldn't. I left the bar and all but ran back to the hotel and moved to call Hanji.

"Hey Short-"

"Hanji, he's gone!"

"What? Who?"

"Eren, he's gone, he wasn't at the bar and I think the Titans have him and I can't afford to lose him...why does this always happen...?"

"Levi...take a deep breath, we'll find him okay...we will. I'll go out to Queens and find you and we'll work together." Her tone was trying to be comforting but if anything it made me feel worse.

"Okay." I barely hear myself, I can't fathom this happening. I can't imagine giving up another person. I can't give up him.

"I'll be there in a little under forty minutes..." When I didn't answer she said goodbye and hung up. I stared at the screen even after it went black.

"I hate myself for this..." I mumbled to my reflection, and before long I moved my phone away from me, I can't even look at myself. "This is all my fault..he's going to hurt...and be ruined...all because of me...he could die because of me..." I continue to mumble to myself.

Hanji arrives in the time she promised, but I hadn't moved much from the bed. I didn't know what I could say or what I could do to feel okay.

"Levi, you can't lay here and do nothing we can start looking the more time we waste the farther away they could get." Hanji said after she realized I wasn't going anywhere.

"He's gone Hanji...he's not coming back there's no way they'll keep him alive..." I whisper unable to say that any louder. Why can't I just wake up? Why can't this all be just a horrible nightmare?

"If you waste time he might be dead, if we hurry up and start looking we might be able to get to him faster. I've got Erwin and Armin working on the last locations of Titan sightings, Ymir has been searching the reports you've given and the ones from the suspected moles in our company. We can't sit around Levi, Eren needs us."
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It's been three months...I haven't seen him in three months. I hate that I miss him, and it gets harder and harder to wake up everyday knowing he isn't in an area next to me. I blame myself more and more everyday and it hurts. Everything hurts...

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Six months. We've found no trace of him, or of Jinn. Forensics of Ral's body never did any good. There was nothing on the body we could find that would lead us closer. If I could just see his face...hear his voice...if it didn't hurt to say his name. If I had never turned my back to him in that shit pile they called a bar if I had never stopped paying attention maybe he would still be next to me. Maybe I wouldn't be living in hiding in case one of the Titans came to kill me. If only I remembered not to get attached.

Hanji stood next to me as we went over the location points for close to the nine hundredth time. "We've been able to study their movements over the past six months...they do most of their work in Queens and we might have reason to suspect that's where they've been keeping Jinn and Eren." She said and I nodded a bit.

"That's saying they are alive..." I said and Hanji looked to me.

"Listen Levi, I know this is hard for you. Ral and Jinn worked closely with you. But I don't get why you're so attached to Eren. You'd worked once before the last case you two had and every time he talked to you you pretended like he wasn't there."

"I don't know Hanji, things changed..." I sighed and looked away from her. "I got so use to him being around...to him just making things better for all of us..."

"Well, Levi, I hate to tell you this but I think you were in love." Hanji said and nudged me with her elbow clearly trying to lighten the mood. "You two lived together while undercover...you did everything together. It only makes sense-"

"I got too close, I'm not in love with him...look where this got me. Petra is dead, Jinn is probably dying and Eren...Eren is suffering or in the same boat as Jinn all because of- wait...Hanji..." I looked back to her.

"What? What's happening?" She looked confused.

"They are targeting me right now...they weren't before not when it started. They wanted the agency they wanted control. Now they have the information Ral and Jinn worked with me...then with Eren. They want to get at me..."

"What did you ever do that would make them target you?" Hanji looked confused still and I knew I'd have to explain it all.

I sighed. "I was born in Queens, the part nobody wanted to be in. I ran with a gang for a while and we did some shit...it was never anything extreme...but they know. The Titan's know I've been willing to do things before for the people I care about...that's why Eren and I lasted so long undercover before they took Eren. They took a risk and thought that...maybe I'd miss him..."