What I Couldn't Tell Him

19 - Like The Prince Charming You Are

ALDEN POV

I walk onto the yard, surrounded by faces but very much alone. It happens a lot in high school. A girl with a shadow of lipstick around her mouth and very chapped lips approached me, dress clinging and inhibiting her movement.

"Hey, Alden. Not seen you in ages."

"Yeah," I grumble, shoving past her. She lets out an outraged gasp but it doesn't matter. I stumble drunkenly until I spot a face. Shawn waves me over, sensing my discomfort.

"Don't look so horrified. You were bloody snogging them three months ago." He groans, referring to the girl before. I sigh and shrug, leading him off the topic that I am almost embarrassed to dwell on.

Shawn looks over my shoulder and smiles at somebody. He gives them a questioning look. I look at him in confusion and he doesn't look at me.

"Hi Alden," I recognise the gentle, musical voice of Jaimie. I turn and open my mouth to say something but the words won't come.

"Shawn, can I talk to Alden for a minute?" She smiles at him encouragingly and he nods mutely, walking away. She is a fricking hypnotist.

"Bye." He mutters absent-mindedly, before walking away. He goes into the building and I bring my attention back to Jaimie.

"Alden," I turn to face her as she speaks, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

I stare for a minute, hands in my pockets and eyebrows furrowed. I flip a coin between my thumb and forefinger, hands sweaty.

"W-What?" Is all I can get out, too shocked to form actual sentences.

"I knew you were... Stressed. I shouldn't have snapped."

"I.. Erm.. No. It was my fault. I wasn't thinking. It wasn't you." I stutter. I didn't expect this and it is almost scaring me that she is blaming herself. She carries on.

"I was inconsiderate and I'm sorry."

I stare at her, stunned. This wasn't meant to happen. I was supposed to apologise and make her understand that I never meant any of this. She wasn't supposed to feel guilty. I wasn't supposed to cause anyone to feel like this. I have done hurt and lousy and shy but I have never made anyone guilty.

"No, Jaimie, it was my fault. I wasn't thinking." I say, still bewildered.

"That's the point! I knew what you were going through and I snapped. I was wrong. I'm sorry."

She watches me and neither of us have the words to express what we want to say. We stay frozen, the world still spinning around us, but we are still.

"I just got frustrated," she murmurs, "I didn't mean that.. you know."

I don't know what would happen next if this was a fairytale, but I know that whatever it would be won't happen. Jaimie is not a princess and I am not a prince. There is no damsel in distress and I am no knight in shining armour. A knight in shining armour doesn't smoke and isn't constantly in detention.

Just as I said, the fairytale moment passes and she gives me an awkward smile, which I return.

"Are we friends?" I ask her. A look flashes through her eyes and I will never know what it meant. I'm not entirely convinced she knows herself.

"Yeah." She smiles then, a young and careful smile that doesn't answer my question at all.

She walks away again. It seems like a habit of hers.

I was watching the ground she walked on for a long time, in a state of silent shock and confusion. Shawn comes back, as though she had arranged it herself.

"Suffering from Post-Jaimie-Stress-Disorder?" He jokes, walking up and waving a hand in front of my eyes. I bring my vision back into focus and laugh. I am. I really am.

"She's a confusing bugger, isn't she?" He carries on. He always uses pensioners curse words and it was a running joke for a while. We have accepted his retro language.

"She is."

"What did you do this time that she reacted to in an inexplicable way?"

"We erm.. We argued and she came and apologised. Even though it was completely my fault. I became a d*ck coz I was low on tobacco." He nods. Then he taps his chin in an animated way

"Maybe she likes you."

I scoff. In my dreams. Wait, what?

"No, she doesn't. We can barely get out a full conversation without me being a d*ck or-"

The pointed look he gives me makes me cower.

"No offence, but if your always d*cking about you can hardly blame her."

"Hey! I'm not always a d*ck."

"Most of the time."

"Shut up."

JAIMIE PERRON

After the bell rang I had butterflies in my stomach; a gentle thrum reminding me that I have to sit next to Alden next lesson after our awkward conversation. I was one of the first in class and Jenni was there too. I wanted to sit with her and the teacher said we talked too much despite the rest of the class screwing around.

"Hey, Jaimie." She smiles brightly. Her hair falls loosely and frames her face like a painting.

"Hi. I hate this lesson." I moan, rolling my eyes.

"Well that wouldn't be anything to do with me, would it?" A male voice laughs from behind me. My cheeks light up in a momentary blush and I cool before turning around.

"No of course not. You only annoy the sh*t out of me for an hour, why would I hate that?"

"You love me really."

"Your ego is almost the size of-"

"Give it a rest!" Jenni groans, silencing us. Alden looks sheepish and I laugh. We take our seats as Mr Pennington walks in, briefcase tucked under his desk. He swings it about around school, as a show of authority or something, but we all know its full of random crap.

I find our desk, the second row back and by the window. Due to more unfortunate budget cuts, this classroom has permanently jammed windows and the draft this morning is freezing me to the bone. Alden chuckles as he sees me hugging myself. He sits down with his hoodie on, looking very warm.

"Aren't you going to offer her your jacket like the prince charming you are?" Jordan teases from behind us, watching the scene in amusement.

"No. It's freezing." Alden laughs and I scowl until my face muscles hurt.

"He's a d*ck, isn't he?" Jordan laughs again, draping his own jacket over my shoulders. I turn and kiss his cheek, and he laughs against my neck. Alden glowers, not far from baring his teeth like an animal.

"Thanks, Jordan. It's so cold, I'm glad someone was selfless and let me borrow it. I'll have to keep it forever and it will always smell like you." I laugh, barely finishing the sentence without cracking up. Jordan is panting like a fish laughing while Alden does the work in silence.

After the lesson, I shrug the jacket off and pass it back to Jordan. Jenni stands and watches with a twinkle in her eye and a question on her tongue.

"Keep it. It will always smell like me." He winks and walks off. He's such a player.

Jenni stops next to me, eyebrows raises teasingly.

"Got yourself a boyfriend?"

"No! It was a joke!" I defend, voice higher-pitched than usual.

"What was a joke? The jacket? Or the keep it forever crap?"

"All of it! Alden wouldn't give me his and Jordan was messing with him." She smirks at me.

"Alden wouldn't give you his? What kind of teen fiction character doesn't do that?" She laughs and my face goes red, I feel my ears and cheeks flush with tingling heat.

"It's not like that!"

"Oh right. Course it's not."