Climbing the Walls (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 25

Chapter 25








*Haley's P.O.V.*


I had been pretending to be asleep, which apparently I was very good at. As Liam lay me down on my bed, I acted half asleep as I brought the blankets over my face. Don't wanna be reminded, don't wanna be seen. I hated that those lyrics decided to play through my head, because I heard Niall singing them. And he was the entire reason I was crying alone in my room. I could be out there being an idiot with Louis, gushing about him with Dani, being perverted with Harry, or even cuddling with him.

But no, apparently Niall's drunk lips must remain occupied when I'm in the bathroom. Why was I never good enough for anyone? Why did guys always need something more than me? The sobs came again, making my body shake violently. They turned into some form of hyperventilation, then subsided into pathetic little hiccups. I felt like shit. Maybe I was shit. It sure seemed that way at the moment.


"Haley?" I froze as that all too familiar Irish accent constricted my heart and sent feverish chills throughout my body. I was still completely engulfed in my sheets, and I intended to stay that way. I tried to stay silent; I was holding my breath as I heard soft footsteps approaching. I didn't want to talk to him.

"Haley," he stated. Shit, he knows I'm awake. Just keep pretending! Maybe he'll leave! As that thought raced through my mind, I realized that I never wanted him to leave me. I couldn't hold it anymore. A heart-wrenching sob escaped my lips. Fuck it.

"Okay. I know you don't want to talk to me. But I still have to talk to you." His voice sounded choked, as if he was doing his best to bite back tears. I just lay there in silence, signaling him to go on. He sighed. "I love you. I was so drunk I thought that girl was you. I should've notice that there were no fireworks or explosions like usual..." My heart twisted. He- he felt the fireworks too? I felt a part of my bed sink down as he sat next to me and placed his hand gingerly on my shoulder.

As wrong as it felt now, the image of him all over that slut etched in my mind, I knew his touch would always feel right. "I'm just so sorry. I hate myself right now. I love you, and now I've ruined it all..." Tears wouldn't stop coming. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I had forgiven apologies too many times.


All of a sudden, the light of the lamp blinded me as my blankets were slowly pulled back. I stared into Niall's red and puffy eyes through my blurry ones. What reason did he have to be crying? I'm the heartbroken one. Chase never cried over me... Does he really miss me? I wondered curiously. I wanted to pull the sheets back over my face and hide forever... Or at least until I was able to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Why is it so hard to tell lies from the truth? I always end up making bad decisions. I needed to crawl back under, away from his heartbreaking gaze, but his hypnotic eyes held me captive.

"She's my captive."

The memories of our cute little joke broke me. I shoved my face into my pillow before the sobs started shaking through my body. I heard him crying softly beside me as he started to apologize again. "This was not what I intended. Ever. I never wanted-"


"Please go away," I mumbled harshly into my pillow. He stopped talking. He leaned down and kissed my exposed head, shooting electric shocks through my body before walking out, shuddering breaths escaping his perfect lips. I remembered those lips on mine, the fireworks on the ferris wheel just about three hours before. It felt like so long ago. They made me want to rip my heart out so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore. Isn't it funny how when your heart's broken, the memories that once made it impossible to stop smiling make it impossible to stop crying?

I cried myself to sleep for the second time that night, heart aching as I sighed out a breath of frustration, desperation, and a familiar lack of hope and trust. Funny how he restored exactly what he said he would change.



*Niall's P.O.V.*


"Please go away." Her words cut like knives, stabbing my heart as they informed me that she didn't want to be around me. Didn't want to see me. Didn't want to hear my voice. I walked across the hall to my room. Maybe Liam's right, I considered. Maybe I just need to give her some time. I slammed the door behind me, furious at myself and frustrated with my situation. If we could only turn back time. I cried some more, knowing the love of my life probably hated me. How could I make her cry? How could I break my promise? How could I hurt her? All I wanted was to take all of her pain away, and now I was the cause of it. I ran my fingers through my hair, wishing they were Haley's. How could I miss a girl who was just across the hall so much?


But that's the thing. She wasn't just across the hall. Sure, she physically was, but emotionally she was miles and miles away. I had to get her back; I wasn't lying when I told her I needed her. The alcohol blinded and made me do idiotic things, things that cost way more than I was willing to pay. How was I going to get her back?


Well, since Plan A (apologizing) didn't work, I guess Plan B would be the next obvious one: I would sing to her. And not just any "I'm sorry" songs, some of her favorites. I grabbed a pen and my notebook that I usually wrote songs in and started my list.

Tears fell on the pages, making translucent, crinkled dots on the frail paper, but I didn't care. I had to learn the guitar to these songs as soon as possible. I got out my laptop and searched for the music for each song.



*Haley's P.O.V.*

I woke up groggily, my cheeks stiff from all the dried tears. I moaned, but it came out as I whimper as I rolled over. My body felt sore and feverish. Can you actually get sick from a broken heart? "Are you awake, love?" Louis' caring accent came from beside me. I half smiled as I rolled over again to face him. He was the only one who could even begin to make me smile at the moment, and the only one I would talk to. The only things I would say to anyone else would just be, "Go away." But I love Louis, and I needed him more than ever.

"Yeah," I answered sleepily, my voice still soft and raspy from my crying in the cold last night. His face was close to mine and I stared into his concerned eyes that swirled with the colors of the ocean.

He held my hand comfortingly and I started playing with his fingers, trying to distract myself.

"Please tell me last night was all just a terrible nightmare," I mumbled. He smiled sadly, stroking my hair like Niall used to. My heart throbbed at the touch.

"Would that make you forgive him?" he asked, our joking banter lightening the mood ever so slightly. My head felt like it was going to explode from the tears that were building up. I shook my head slightly, frowning.

"I trusted him, Lou. I love him. This happened to me before, and he knows that. He knows everything and promises to never hurt me, never let anything hurt me, and then he just goes and does the worst thing he possibly could. It's like as soon as everything is going perfectly something has to come along and fuck it up. I just always end up hurt, no matter what I do," I sobbed, tears glistening in my eyes as I bit the inside of my cheeks and brought Louis' hand to my lips. He kissed my tear-stained cheeks and wiped the new ones away gently with his thumb.

"He was drunk, love. I understand why you're upset, but you don't know what alcohol can do," he replied, rubbing soothing circled on my cheek with his thumb. It calmed me a bit, but as hard as I tried to be strong it still hurt like the fiery pits of hell. "He was confused. I thought that girl was you at first, too. You looked almost identical through a drunk man's eyes," he explained. I knew he was right, but I was in too much pain to hear the sense.

"It hurts," I wailed softly, clenching my eyes shut and squeezing his hand so hard I thought I might break it.

"I know, love," he whispered, kissing my nose. I scrunched up my face, just like I did whenever Niall did that to me. That just made more tears slip. "I know. Would you like me to bring you some breakfast?" he offered. I shook my head again.

I smiled, shaking my head at them. I heard Niall chuckling from beside me, but when I turned to face him I realized that he was laughing at me.


"What?" I demanded.
"Your curls," he chuckled, "They bounce when you shake your head!" I smiled at him and shook my head again, making him laugh more. He took one of my curls, stretched it out straight, and absolutely died when it sprung right back into its original curly form. I laughed, amused at how easily entertained this boy was.


"I'm not hungry," I cried, stuffing my face back into the isolate fortress of my bed. The bittersweet memory stabbed my heart, making it hard to breathe.

"Okay, love. Call if you need anything, I'll be checking up hourly anyway," he informed me, patting the lump under the sheets that was my body.

I somewhat smiled, loving his brotherly protectiveness and concern. Louis was exactly what I needed at the moment. I tried to clear my mind of Niall, but it was absolutely impossible. But I was out of tears for the moment, so I snatched my IPod and played my Sad Songs playlist.

I sighed as Beautiful People by Cher Lloyd filled my ears. It was my absolute favorite song at the moment. But of course, as soon as the song was about to end, it died on me. Wonderful, I thought bitterly. I wasn't willing enough to reach over to the IHome on my nightstand and charge it, so I just lay there in silence. A silence that didn't last very long.

I groaned as guitar strings began strumming. But I wasn't exactly groaning because I was annoyed he was there. I groaned because I was secretly glad he was there, but didn't want to admit it. Oh god, I love this song, I thought, annoyed at how much I loved the way he knew me so well. I sighed and listened, mesmerized as my favorite voice in the world sang one of my favorite songs.


"Bring me back to holding hands in the rain. I swear I'd ease your pain. Lift you up so you could finally see the love you are to me. I've had time and I've had change. I've been broken but still I can't explain our July in the rain."


My heart was protesting my depression, telling me to jump into his arms. I wanted to so badly, but at the same time I felt like I would never be able to look at him the same way again. Tears began silently forming as he sang the next line.

"Why'd I have to go and do you like that?" He sounded so sad when he sang it, so sincere...

"Thought I'd moved on then you brought me right back to the night you took my kiss away from me. I took yours too, then I lost you."

I let the tears escape, not daring to make a noise as I remembered where I had ran to after I witnessed the incident.

"Every part of me is broken now. I tried to scream but nothing came out. Drop my pride and I reveal my insides. And it all came pouring out."

The sound of him holding back sobs as he sang broke my heart. What were we doing? We both loved each other. But I just couldn't go through that again...
All thoughts aside, I peeked my wet eyes out from under the blankets, stealing a glance at him. His eyes were flowing with tears, and they were set on me, unmoving.

He looked at me expectantly as he finished the song. I hated this, staring at each other in silence with tears in our eyes. What happened to the nights we spent laughing, care free and smiling in each others' arms, drunk off of love? I longed for them, but I needed time. I knew it was a mistake, part of me was certain Niall would never do that to me had he known what he was doing, but my scars just couldn't handle it.

"Give me some time," I croaked finally. Time. That's what I needed. I would forgive him, I believed him, I was just a bit shocked. His face relaxed the slightest bit at my answer. It seemed to give him hope.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. I could smell him, feel his body softly press against mine. It was all too much.

"Please go," I breathed, closing my eyes tightly.

"I love you. Only you. Forever." His words sent tingles down my spine as he kissed me on the nose, making me scrunch up my face. I opened my eyes, knowing I would see him smiling sadly. I returned it, then went back to my hiding spot as I covered myself with my duvet and quilt. I felt the bed rise as he got up and heard him shut the door softly as he exited. I sighed, needing to get my head straight.


*Niall's P.O.V.*

It wasn't over.

She said to "give her time". That meant that whenever the time was up, we could possibly resume. There was hope. I just hoped we could go back to the way we had been... You know, perfect. As I closed her door behind me, Louis was walking up the stairs, probably to make his hourly visit to Haley. I was jealous of him, of the relationship he had with Haley. It seemed like nothing could break it. He was the only one she would actually talk to in the midst of all of this. He smiled at me expectantly as he approached, seeing that I had just been in Haley's room. I smiled back sadly, but with a gleam of hope in my grin.

"What happened?" he interrogated curiously.

"Well, I sang to her, and she actually looked at me. And she told me to 'give her time', so I take that as a good sign," I reported, the last spark of hope struggling to dig its way out from under the ashes of loss. He smiled at me supportively.

"That's progress!" he replied optimistically. "You have to understand though, she's just afraid. She's been hurt so many times, and it was so hard for her to even accept the fact that she had a crush on you. I think her brain knows it was all a silly misunderstanding and that you two are madly in love, but her heart has walls built around it again. I think time is the best option," he explained. He knew exactly what to say.

"I need to find a way to speed up time," I responded thoughtfully. My guilty heart was growing impatient as the hope started growing inside of me.

"Good luck with that," Louis smiled. "It shouldn't be too hard. She loves you and I know she forgives you already, she's just scared and stubborn." I smiled back, hoping he was right.


*Haley's P.O.V.*

I couldn't take it anymore. Didn't they realize that they were right outside my door and I could hear everything they were saying?

Annoyed that they were talking about me when I could hear them clearly, I flung off the blankets and dared to try out my legs. I was questioning myself as I stomped over to the door, but when I heard Louis call me scared and stubborn I acted without a moment's hesitation. I grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open angrily. A shocked Niall and Louis looked at me, dumbfounded.

"You realize I can hear every word you're saying, right?" I growled.

Niall began to say something, but then his eyes traveled down to my torso. I followed his gaze, wondering what he was staring at. Shit. I had fallen asleep in the clothes I was wearing in the alley. The clothes I was wearing at the bar. The clothes I was wearing in the van. The clothes I was wearing on the ferris wheel.

I had fallen asleep wearing Niall's purple sweatshirt.
He smiled at me sadly, but I unzipped it furiously. His smiled flipped upside down as I stripped it off of my body, glaring at both of them. But as I held the article in my hands, I found myself unwilling to hand it over. So I stood there, clutching his sweatshirt angrily. My anger faded, and as my somberness returned, I just shut the door, still possessing the sweatshirt. Both boys were smiling when I didn't give the sweatshirt back, but I didn't care. I just flopped down on my bed, hugging the Armani Mania scented sweatshirt to my body, inhaling the familiar aroma with every painful sob.






A/N***

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