Thirteenth Night; Malvolio's Revenge

Act 1 Scene 5

Enter Olivia and Fool
Fool: (sings) The lady bird sits 'top the apple tree
The laddie bird sings from the bough
The lady bird preens 'top the apple tree
The laddie bird sings up and down
The lady bird calls to her laddie bird
"Wherefore sings so sweet?"
The laddie bird calls to his lady
"M'dear the day I greet"
The lady bird hummed the while
And called down to her lad
"Sing me 'cross the Nile."
"I do, and I'll be glad."
Olivia: What meanest thou, Fool?
Fool: 'Twas being the laddie bird, good Lady. Your apple tree's grown silent.
Olivia: That is has. Where are my attendants?
Fool: Monsieur Malvolio ran off raving, Signior Fabian gave chase, the knight Sir Andrew turned toward home, and Mistress Marian was sent to stop him. Your cousin Toby be drinking i' the cellar, if the clock gives reason. Mater Sebastian is at the Duke's palace to meet with Mistress Cesario.
Olivia: My sister's name is Viola.
Fool: True I know, Madonna, though she hast not her own weeds. Didst not thou lend her thine own?
Olivia: The Captain was found slain i' town. I hadst no choice. She will have gowns of her own soon enough.
Fool: Indeed, Lady. Though who would find such ill with the sailor to run him through?
Olivia: I know not, Fool.
Fool: The devil himself, Madonna. Thrown from the light and thirsty with vengeance.
Olivia: What meanest thou?
Fool: Only that which I spoke. The gentlewoman returns.
Enter Maria
Maria: How may I assist you, Madam?
Olivia: I sent you to retrieve the knight, yes? Hast he returned?
Maria: He is coming anon with Malvolio.
Olivia: Malvolio?
Maria: Ay, Madam, that same. He told that thou hadst sent for me.
Olivia: I've not seen Malvolio in recent. Fabian hast not returned with him.
Fool: The fool is not alone in trickery. I will retreat else I entangle myself in this most fatal confusion. Adieu good Lady Bird.
Exit
Olivia: It matters not. There's a wedding to prepare. Go fetch my husband from the Count Orsino's.
Exit Maria
Enter Malvolio
Malvolio: My Lady, I bring my peace.
Olivia: Malvolio. You've returned at a most opportune time. Where is Fabian? I sent him after you.
Malvolio: He received a letter which has him distract.
Olivia: And Sir Andrew?
Malvolio: Was alas set on home.
Olivia: Very well. You would return to your position?
Malvolio: Yes, my Lady. I hold no disquiet toward you. It was not your invention. My shame has cleared.
Olivia: In that case, fetch me a drink. The best wine we have. Refreshments for the banquet must be decided by my palate alone.
Malvolio: At your service, Madam.
Exit
Olivia: His words match not his tone. I must entreat Sir Toby to speak with him whence he returns to his wits. Perhaps they can come to peace.
Enter Malvolio, holding a goblet
Malvolio: As you requested, the best wine in the house. I should inform you that your cousin was collapsed on the cellar floor, cloaked in a drunken stench.
Malvolio hands goblet to Olivia
Olivia: Yes, thank you. Would you fetch someone to deal with him?
Exit Malvolio
Preparations. I must not dwell on this darkness. I have a ceremony.
Olivia takes a drink
This is the best wine? 'Tis odd. The color is dark. The garden grows dark.
Olivia collapses
Enter Sebastian and Maria
Sebastian: Madam! Why lie you in the dust? What ill has befallen you?
Olivia: Sebastian, husband is that you?
Sebastian: Who has done you ill?
Olivia: The wine. Malvolio brought it.
Maria: Malvolio? He has returned?
Sebastian: He will wish he hadn't. Find him, Maria. Beseech you.
Exit Maria
He who hath brought upon my sweet this damned fate shall feel punishment at my hand.
Enter Maria with Malvolio
Malvolio: Master Sebastian, is it?
Sebastian: What hast thou done to my Lady?
Malvolio: Only what she asked. I delivered to her a sample of wine.
Sebastian: Wherefore dost she sleep in death?
Malvolio: Olivia is not dead. The poison was too sweet to chill her breath so soon.
Sebastian draws his sword
Sebastian: How now, steward? Wilt thou quarrel?
Malvolio: Gladly, Sir.
Malvolio draws a knife
Sebastian: You will quarrel with no more than a knife? I will slice thy hide to bits and throw it i' Tartarus before you graze my flesh.
Malvolio: So you say, Sir, though I regret to doubt that promise. The Lady is dying, sir. Wilt thou not bid her farewell?
Sebastian: Dear Olivia, I will avenge thee.
They duel
Malvolio disarms Sebastian and knocks him to the floor
Malvolio: I will not serve you, Sir. My Lady might have loved me, if not for your intervention. Sleep now with your beloved. Thy marriage shall be consecrated in blood.
Sebastian: Oh, my dear Antonio, if only you could save me once again. I brought you here to be locked up and am now trapped in peril anew. I wish to be once more in the turbulent sea, for then you might save--
Malvolio slits Sebastian's throat
Maria: Malvolio, thou art bewitched! What has become of thee?
Malvolio: Shut from the light for too long, I saw naught but my pain. I was wronged. The sun is fading. My patience was spent long ago.
Maria: You art a demon.
Malvolio: Tell not a soul of this sight. It would make thine end a thousand fold the Lady's suffering.
Maria: That Sebastian has a sister. She was one Cesario. She must know of her brother's death.
Malvolio: She can be told of the Fates' decision. She can know that she is alone. Go. Tell her the ocean tempest washed Sebastian away at last. Tell no other.
Exeunt