Thirteenth Night; Malvolio's Revenge

Act 4 Scene 1

Enter Fool and Sir Toby
Fool: Look who's near drowned i' his drink. Your lady wouldst not approve.
Sir Toby: My niece need not know, Knave.
Fool: Your other lady, Knight.
Sir Toby: Marian hath her own secrets. I need no concern with her.
Fool: (sings) Down, down, the drunkard's well
Lay the wine too sweet
Floating there, what none could tell
A clever man to meet
O, one might tell the man from drink
But none see past the stain
The darkness blacker than old ink
He'll not rise again
From Death's drink
Sir Toby: What mean you, Fool?
Fool: Danger i' the house, Sir Toby. Babbling danger. Madder than thine eyes. Jove turn't water to wine, but Beelzebub transfigures anger to a brimstone flare. The flare rises o'er the madman. The possession conflagration ravages 'ere one would stand.
Sir Toby: You speak nonsense. What fooling is this? I've seen not a spark i' this house. Wherefore talk of Death? Love and life live i' the garden. The wedding come at dawn!
Fool: And so it might, had the imp stayed locked i' anger. Anger burnt too dark. Darkness floods the garden. Nothing blossoms o' a ravaged vine.
Enter Maria
Ahoy, gentlewoman! Your gentleman hath drowned at last!
Maria: I beg your pardon, Fool? None have drowned just yet.
Fool: Ay, Lady. Not in water, but in wine.
Sir Toby: Away, Knave. Fooling's no fun since our conspirators fled.
Fool: Any fool could see this is no fooling, Knight. Only a knight is blinded so by foolishness. Let your blindness drown you from the Sun. They do say ignorance be bliss.
Exit
Sir Toby: And rid you well, Fool. Such clouds are needed not.
Maria: Toby, art thou truly so blind?
Sir Toby: The drink has left me! No more does it flood my veins.
Maria: Your drinking concerns me not. 'Tis that thou art distract. Hast thou seen your cousin?
Sir Toby: Olivia? She's off with Sebastian, making merry for their marriage.
Maria: She was seen last taking drink of wine to taste. Malvolio delivered 't.
Sir Toby: That rogue?
Maria: Ay, that rogue, who returned to seek vengeance and give belladonna wine.
Sir Toby: What meanest thou?
Enter Malvolio
Malvolio: That the Lady Olivia did fall from glory. You were told, Mistress Mary, to tell none of this.
Sir Toby: Swine, what hast thou done? Flee, my lily flower. I shall repay the steward his grievances.
Exit Maria
How hadst it played out i' thy visions? Were thine imaginings superior to those of Count Malvolio?
Malvolio: How would thou dare to make a mockery of me again? They're all gone at my hand. They have paid my covenant with their blood. It spilled on the flagstones and i' the flames. You shall still be hung i' stars, or perhaps o'er the Doors of Death. What wouldst thou prefer, Knight?
Malvolio draws sword
Sir Toby: That would be the rapier of Sir Andrew Aguecheek. You rogue. You stole the weapon of a fallen knight?
Malvolio: He fell upon his own sword. It was given to me in his final moments. And so shall yours be.
Sir Toby: I would scorn your feeble attempt.
Sir Toby draws sword
What sayest thou, demon?
Malvolio: You shall drown in ambition as you did in drink, Sir Toby.
They duel
Malvolio drives Sir Toby back into a rain barrel
How fortunate that the sea in which thou will choke lay here before you.
Malvolio holds Sir Toby's head in the water
Exeunt