A Court Of Wings And Ruin

Chapter 3

Feyre

I sighed my chest aching as I closed the bond breaking the connection with a wince. I shakily got up before sitting on the bed I never dreamt I'd be in again.

I closed my eyes and put my face in my hands. Could I really do this? I knew I could but...without Rhys by my side I feel...

Empty.

I groaned angrily before getting off bed and lifting my shirt off my upper body. I brought the fabric to my lips, I savored the feeling of it on my fingers knowing I'd most likely never get to wear it for at least a few months.

I put it into my closet before doing the same with my pant's. I was now in my underthings.

I went into my closet and pulled out a spring court gown. I couldn't stand the color nor the gown itself but, I threw it on with a grimace.

I felt as if I was betraying my court. I wanted to be wearing my courts symbol. The symbol of my people. Not the symbol of my enemy.

I looked at my reflection as I passed my mirror. I looked nothing like how I once was.

Confident, bold, beautiful.

I was still beautiful. I knew that but, I didn't feel it as I once did.

I felt timid, small, fragile.

I sneered at that and looked away quickly before I grabbed for the dreaded door knob to the hallway into the dining hall where I'd meet Tamlin.

I quickly placed a glamour around my Mark on my arm with a small amount of magic. I didn't want them noticing it. I doubted they would notice however.

I breathed in and out calmly before opening the door only to find that Tamlin was already in front of my room.

I jumped putting on a shocked face "Tamlin! You startled me" I stated.

Tamlin gave an apologetic look "forgive me love. I just couldn't bare to wait a second longer."

I nodded slowly a smile growing on my face 'still overprotective I see' I thought bitterly.

He extended a hand out to me as I closed the door behind me. I took it and his larger hand enveloped my smaller one before pulling me close and guiding me to the Dining hall.

I glanced at his calloused, fair hand in my own and instantly wished I had another's in my hand instead of his. I however only sat down in my seat across from Tamlin. I gave him a kind bean before the food came in as did Lucien.

Lucien as always sat in his usual spot and was glancing at me from time to time. It became annoying very quickly and dinner hadn't even started yet.

I turned to the idiot with a concerned look "is something the matter Lucien?"

My eyes narrowed slightly as Lucien gave me a sharp, warning glare before turning to his meal picking at it with his well carved fork.

I turned away from him tearing my gaze to Tamlin who had called my name.

"Feyre" he said his expression almost guilty and I felt like I knew what he was going to say next.

"We need to know about your stay in the night court" he stated quickly.

I tried to sound as shocked as I could and my hands curled up under the table "Y-you need me to tell you about then night court?" You sighed slightly.

"Well, Tam I don't exactly remeber what I did in the night court. I'm trying I really am but, I only remember waking up in Hybern's castle and finding you" I stated with eye's tearing up and a hand on my mouth.

I felt my anger flare alittle more as I heard a scoff beside me from Lucien "is that a coincidence" he mumbled only to shut up at Tamlin's glare.

Tamlin rushed over wrapping his arm's around my small form before he said "please don't cry, Feyre. I apologize for bringing it up so soon" he apologized rapidly.

I wiped my fake tears away pulling away from him a hand over my mouth and tears still running down my face "i-i would like to retire for the night".

I heard Tamlin's small reply "of course". As I rose from my seat and fled through the doors. I almost smirked as I heard the scolding voice of Tamlin yelling at Lucien "what the hell was that?!"

I giggled faintly before i entered your room and closed the door. I breathed a small sigh of relief and i went to your closet. I threw off the horrifyingly light colored gown before pulling on a night gown.

I went to my bed side running my hands over the sheets. I couldn't stand being here and yet...I needed to be. At least, I thought I should be.

I shook my head slowly closing my eyes and my hands balling up the sheets as I sank to my knees and began sobbing.

I hadn't noticed I had unconsciously sent down my rapid emotions down the link between Rhys and I until, I felt the chill run down my spine as it closed.

I then layer my head down on the bed without getting in. I slowly became drowsy and my eyes closed finally sleep taking over.

'Rhys...' I thought before my mind went blank.