It’s midnight for him, three hours before it’s midnight for Lauren, and he considers staying up until 3 am just to type out a text but he knows he’s only thinking that because he’s drunk. And no matter how “drunk” he is, he knows Lauren deserves better than some stupid generic "Happy New Year's!" text. He’s too cowardly to give Lauren what she deserves; that much is obvious. So, even though he can feel Matt's faintly disapproving looks from across the room, he still chats up the freckliest brunette at the party because it’s all he knows how to do. When the countdown reaches one and they kiss, Shawn doesn’t feel a thing.
That’s exactly as he wanted it to be.
* * * * * *
She’s really not sure how Stephen ended up at her house, but she’s beyond glad for him and for Ryan for telling her that one of her high school friends is in town. Their New Years’ party is relatively small, but she likes it that way; big parties remind her of New York, and she’s not ready to go back yet.
She introduces Stephen to everyone else with great flair. She learns that he’s a game designer now and making more money than Lauren can really imagine, but he’s still the same pretty average and handsome guy, and she still enjoys his company.
About twenty minutes into the party she realizes he’s looking at her.
She’s not really attracted to him, but she knows objectively that he’s nice to look at, with dark, curly hair and an even smile. They don’t make it to midnight before she takes him out to show him the view from the front porch and he kisses her, shyly like they’re teenagers all over again. His hands are on her hips but it’s like he’s scared to touch her, so she can hardly feel them and all she’s remembering are Shawn’s arms around her waist for the split seconds they were there and she wants so badly to forget that she doesn’t even feel bad about resting a hand on Stephen’s chest and leaning into the kiss.
His lips are chapped and taste like cinnamon gum (which is her least favorite flavor but she’ll deal with it) and he seems surprised that she wants to kiss him back.
At twelve, he pecks her sweetly on the lips and she knows by the end of the night, she’s going to break his heart.
* * * * * *
It doesn’t occur to her until her mother mentions it that transferring her job to Seattle could be her ticket out of New York.
She thinks long and hard about it; about whether ‘out of New York’ is really what she wants. But all it takes is the thought of going back to New York and to Shawn for her to make the decision. She calls her boss the next day, and it turns out her contract is flexible enough to allow her to start her new job as soon as possible. If they want her.
And they do.
Which means she’s moving home.
* * * * * *
She doesn’t call Shawn.
* * * * * *
Shawn finds out over Facebook.
At first he thinks it has to be a mistake, but when he rereads it again, he feels like he’s going to pass out or do something stupid. What he does instead is even stupider.
He calls Lauren.
* * * * * *
She does what she knows she’s supposed to and flops onto her back next to Shawn, propping her head up on her arms.
YOU ARE READING
All My Sins (For You To Take)
Teen Fiction"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that." –Woody Allen
